My wellness journey; life after two babies

My wellness journey; life after two babies

‘The last 6 years have seen a huge shift in my life for the better but not without consquences. Join me as I start my wellness journey and reset the balance… ‘

The last 6 years have seen a monumental shift in my life and everything I once knew about it. Every parent will tell you – becoming a parent changes everything. You think it won’t change you, that it won’t change your life, not that much anyway but it does. For me, monumentally.

Two babies in 11 months.

I had my first child in August 2014 and my second in July 2015, yes that is all of 11 months respite between the two. Although it was anything but respite. When you grow and then raise a human you give up a lot, your time, your food your sleep, your body. So much of what you know is handed over to ‘a greater cause’ and it really is that and you do it voluntarily, gladly even but make no mistake you are still giving up a lot of you.

6 things I learnt having 2 under 1 - my wellness journey

You don’t even realise so much of you is falling by the wayside. You’re doting and you give everything you have to this tiny baby because everything is now all about them and frankly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Not at first.

But as the months and some cases (mine) years go by things start feeling off kilter. The wellness journey is going very much in the other direction.

In my story there wasn’t a great deal in the way of support, for want of a better word. My partner worked for himself, no work = no pay, so he worked, a lot. Grandparents weren’t local or on hand and the only real childcare we had was paid nursery, which we all know doesn’t come cheap and the mum guilt of sending them when you’re not actually working doesn’t always make it worth it’s while.

I didn’t return to work so I threw myself into being a full time SAHM. It was a challenge I didn’t expect it to be. I am forever grateful I had that time, don’t get me wrong. It is a privilege and I recognise it as such but it was busy. Days and nights are spent tending to the every want and need of small humans who want and need a lot. I poured so much of myself into them and filling their days that the well started to dry up.

By time they were both at school it’s fair to say that the previous 5 years tipped so far in their direction that I didn’t actually know myself anymore.

They were both at school in 2019 and the first 6 weeks were almost depressing. You hear tales of parents revelling in new found freedom and me time but I just felt lost. I am not saying I wasn’t ready for this time or that it wasn’t even relished, I just didn’t know what to do with it.

I felt compelled to get a job, restart my career, start a business, save the world but I didn’t know how, what or why? I aimlessly trawled the internet for things that might suit or different projects I could take on and then Covid-19 happened and both of my children were off school and with me, full time again but with the added treat of homeschooling – said no parent ever.

Fast forward the weirdest 6 months in history and now both children are back to school, again and here I am back to not knowing what to do.

Wanting to do something, but the right thing.

I have an opportunity to get it right this time. To follow a path of passion. Post school and pre kids my path was to become a lawyer and go into practice. I can’t see myself walking that road again. Not in this country anyway.

I am not truly sure where my career path, for want of a better word will take me. There are a few options that are being explored, that may or may not have potential only time will tell.

Currently my most important path is to find me. In all it’s life affirming hippy glory. First and foremost with my new found lifestyle and wellness journey I want to find out what it is I like, what I like to do, want to do, who I am. I have changed 10 fold in the last 10 years and I need to get to know me again.

One thing that has become apparent over the last 12 months is the importance I place on health and lifestyle. This is something that has changed hugely.

In my late teens and twenties even up to my late twenties I was all about the ‘good time’, which ultimately equated with drinking hard and partying harder. I justified it and balanced it out with a heavy dose of exercise, and again, a heavier dose of professional development. I burnt the candle at all ends.

This has changed. Having children and leaving my career forced it upon me in many ways, although I resisted the change for years. Having now gone full circle I am ready to embrace my own personal development.

I am embarking on a wellness journey, if you like.

My focus is starting to shift. I want to improve me and my lifestyle for me and my family. I am working on getting enough sleep. Something I haven’t done, well ever. Trying to make sure I am getting good quality sleep for a prolonged period. One that isn’t disturbed by too many G&Ts a few hours earlier.

I am working on our diet. I have more time now to make nutritious home made food, trying to stay away form packets and sauces. Limiting our meat intake that little bit more. Let me be clear however this is not an absolute. I will still pop open a Lloyd Grossman sauce and serve up beige food. I’ll still have a Big Mac and pub grub for I am also a realist.

For me health, happiness and the lifestyle we want comes with balance. I cannot sustain the ultimate vegan living, dry, clean AF lifestyle 100% of the time and I don’t intend to. If that’s your thing then power to you but I have a daughter who loves steak, a boy who would consume chicken nuggets everyday and a partner who likes to wine and dine. I too like all of those things, cards on the table.

So maybe 5 nights a week you’ll find me serving up food everyone pulls a face at because of the high veg content, the fake meat and lack of processed goodness but you’ll also find me eating out, buying ice cream and having the occasional (very occasional these days) Sauv Blanc. Moderation and all. That works for us.

However what you will see me doing everyday is exercise or at the very least 6 out of the 7 days a week. This is the ultimate in a wellness journey, for me.

Exercise has been a part of my life since I was young. I have always loved it at school through to university and into my adult life. There may have been a quiet couple of years where the ability to embark on nights out and then drive everywhere the next day took its tool or when two babies in 11 months floored me but other than that it has always featured heavily in my life. Now more so than ever.

Exercise is not just about aesthetics for me, although I won’t pretend it doesn’t play a part. It is truly about my mental wellbeing. During a difficult time over a decade ago I discovered the importance exercise can have on your mental wellbeing not just your physical. It helped bring me out of a darker place at the time and that has always stayed with me, even if I forgot it a little along the way.

The benefits of exercise are known the world over, celebrated and endorsed universally. Yet for so many people it is such a difficult routine to adopt and work into your life, daily. I get why, I truly do. I’ve been in the place where I thought it just not possible to fit in a run or workout. Suffice to say I am not there anymore and I would find it harder to go a day without exercise than I would a day with it. So much so I am thinking that being a health and fitness coach may be something to explore. Sharing with others the difference it can make to your life.

Daily exercise has given me confidence, improved my mental and physical health, helped my sleep, kept my nutrition on track , made me smile, made me sweat, made me stronger, fitter and happier. I owe so much to it and I have finally found a way to integrate it daily and a way that works for me. It might even work for you too, want to find out?

Finally, the last part of my wellness journey and and perhaps the most important is that it isn’t just about diet and running around it is about making time for me. Putting me first for a change not in entirety but more than before. This is how I hope to find what I am looking for. I have always placed myself at the bottom of the importance ladder, as have all parents and partners. Like you I am sure I have made sure everyone else was fed, entertained and happy before myself. That they got to do what they wanted when they wanted even when it meant I didn’t. I am working on changing that. On creating pockets of time for me. Pockets of energy to focus on what I want and I am going to do it unashamedly. For I am worthy and I deserve it too.

Will you join me?

Do you put yourself at the bottom of the queue? Do you need a little help in putting yourself first, getting your health, fitness and lifestyle goals on track? Perhaps I can help you with your wellness journey.

Find me on instagram for more of the journey

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Having two babies in 11 months and one premature changed everything about life as I knew it. You suddenly get put to the back of the queue and everything is about raising these two little babies and you wouldn't have it any other way. Until the shift in balance is more noticeable and you realise you've forgotten who you are and what you even like. I am there now and I am taking time to re-discover who I am and embarking on a wellness journey with me at the front. Here is how and why.  #wellness #wellnesswarrior #wellnessjourney #momlife

2 thoughts on “My wellness journey; life after two babies”

  • Ahh I love this post. I can relate a lot about losing yourself and trying to discover what you like etc. I’m there with you. I’m at peace with it for now, believing this is just a season of my life and over exciting things will follow. Thanks for all your support and good luck on your journey. You should def go into fitness!!

    • I’m so sorry I have only just seen this. Thank you so much for taking the time, I really appreciate it and your kind words. 🙂

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