I remember before my daughter started talking that I was almost excited about this phase, the ‘why’ phase that is. More so the prospect of her talking, in retrospect. I was so keen for her to be able to communicate with me. To be able to tell me what she wants, it felt like a long time coming.
Well, does she tell me what she wants. Not to mention what she doesn’t. Things are clearer now than ever.
In fact she doesn’t shut up. From the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes to bed. She is bending my ear with every cliche in the book.
In at the top spot is of course, why? She wasnts to know why to everything. Every damn thing. I know she is just curious, she is learning and everything is new to her but really she isn’t always able to understand the answer, or care.
‘Why is it cold mummy?
‘Because it’s winter darling’
‘Why is it winter?’
Because every year we have Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter and now it is Winter’s turn’.
*SIGH* Well, the Earth’s axis is tilted and at the moment the U.K, where we live, is the further away from the sun, which makes it cold, ergo winter.
*Bangs head against wall*
Sometimes I can try really hard to explain in a way she will understand but she just looks at me vacantly. She cannot compute the information I have given her and half the time I swear she doesn’t even listen. If you don’t answer however WHY will be screamed at the top of her lungs until something is said in return. I try my best not to us those 3 sacred words. I try to have patience and to explain but sometimes the only tool left in the box is,
‘because it is’.
Sometimes it just is. Fact.
Hot on the tails of why, is the equally fun and soul destroying, ‘are we there yet mummy?’.
From the minute we pull off the drive until we reach our destination. ‘Are we there yet’? ‘We nearly there mummy?’ We there now? on repeat ad infinitum, with the occasional ‘It’s really far away’. How many TV shows have you watched where kids incessantly ask ‘are we nearly there yet?’. I didn’t actually think this was a real thing, but hell it is. Mix ‘are we nearly there yet’ with ‘why are there trees?‘ and it’ll make for a really fun 2 hour drive.
If it isn’t why? or are we there yet? Then you can be sure it’ll be ‘what we doing now mummy’? The last bite of marmite toast has barely been consumed and you can rest assured the next thing to come out of her mouth is, ‘what we doing now’? We can arrive home after having been out of the house doing all sorts of child friendly fun activities and the words you will hear will be ‘what we doing now?. ‘ I must be asked this at least 657 times a day, which would be fine (it wouldn’t) except for the fact we do things all day everyday.
‘What are we doing now mummy?’
‘Whatever you want darling, you can play with your toys, read a story, watch the telly’
‘I want to go out’
‘We’ve just been out, so were going to stay home now’
‘But what we doing now?’
‘why don’t you play with your kitchen and make me some dinner?’
We could be out somewhere fun such as a soft play, a zoo, a playgroup – you name it and I will still get
‘What we doing now mummy?’
Last but not least, ‘I’m hungry mummy’ which is basically code for, ‘I want chocolate’. When I ask her what she want’s it is only ever, ‘choc choc’. Occasionally she won’t answer, usually when she’s knows she is pushing her luck but still wants to try anyway. Instead of the words a coy, knowing smile will creep across her face and her head will tilt as she attempts to mouth the words ‘choc choc’. Then there is the last ditch attempt, when she knows there really is zero chance of chocolate, you can guarantee the response to ‘what would you like?’ is;
‘What we got mummy?’
She won’t want any of the options I offer up. None of the fruits or vaguely nutritious snacks. You can spend 5 minutes listing options for them to be shot down only to then get into a pointless discussion with a three year old as to why you can’t eat chocolate all the live long day.
So yep, three years in and parenting is living up to every cliche in the book. I just have the late night giggly slumber parties where Mr Tammy and I take it turns to tell them to ‘keep it down’, door slamming tweens and the ‘it’s not fair’ teen cliches to look forward to then. Hurrah.
What about you? Have you got any parenting cliches to share? I’d love to hear from you.