For all of two years and 3 months I have had two children, with just 11 months between, before you ask yes I am insane, obviously right? Can you sense me rolling my eyes? I wrote a post about life with two some 7 months into our new family dynamic and I was very much standing my ground and defending our decision to never have a nights sleep again.
Since then I think we have come full circle, there have been some difficult times, I remember a phase where everyday seemed impossible. Where my patience was non existent, I was exhausted and angry. Angry at how hard I was finding life with two all consuming babies who needed me for absolutely everything. I remember that time well and sometimes I wince. Wince at some of the stroppy ‘not coping’ posts that came with it and how I felt on really difficult days.
We have come a long way since then, since not returning to work and I am pleased to report I no longer feel like this. The babies and I have really got into our stride, we know each other, our likes and dislikes, we have a routine and it works for us. In the previous post I described having two children so close together as the good the bad and the ugly, so here we go again, 2 years in,
The foresight of just about everyone that they would grow up close and be friends in coming into it’s own. Yes you can say I told you so. They play brilliantly together, they actually enjoy each others company. When they are being nice they are so nice. They care about each other and they miss the other should the rare occasion happen when they’re apart. I enjoy their company and they make me laugh. I enjoy my days with them and I feel genuinely lucky to have these two wonderful children to call my own. The good really is the best.
It’s not all sweetness and light. You’ll notice I said ‘when they are being nice‘ yeah, that certainly is not all the time. When they’re not being nice, they’re fighting, they’re not sharing and they are screaming. The boy always wants what the girl has, regardless, only to discard it 3 minutes later after giving her an embolism for having to share. We are subject to daily ‘terrible two tantrums‘ and total breakdowns from a threenager. IF they’re both tired, so help you god and if one is asleep past 6.30am you can guarantee the other is not. They still test my patience daily, push my buttons and playing house, shops, doing the same puzzle 17 times before 9am and generally being ordered around by two Sargent majors can be boring as hell. All day. But if you don’t you are struck with that horrendous mum guilt and spend your time beating yourself up for not giving all the time to the children whilst they still want it. It is a vicious circle that feels like a loss whatever way you chalk it up.
The shit. I still spend a large amount of my day surrounded by actual shit. I have one toilet trained three year old and one not yet to be trained two year old. The three year old can use a toilet but she uses the potty we have for her brother. Helpful like that. We’re a long way from those milk only first 6 months and don’t I know about it. I am usually summoned from another room to the words ‘Mummy I’ve done a poo in the potty can you wipe my bum’. Who knew such a gorgeous small person could produce something so gross and so big. Sigh. As for the boy, well it appears he has some form of food intolerance, or something going on that remains un diagnosed as his, frequent and so disgusting nappies remain a constant form of gross in my life. We have an appointment about this next week so let’s hope for some movement, not literally. Whilst on the topic of bodily fluids, snot. Yeah snot is the other form of disgusting that I spend my day covered in. Whilst the boy is no stranger to a snotty nose it is the girl who claims best in show here. You would not think it humanly possible to disseminate so much of the thick green stuff. One of my biggest parenting fails was not taking out shares in tissues. We get through them like water and they never seem big enough. Somehow I always end up with snot on my hands and my clothes. When it is not there, it is smeared across their faces, their sleeves and ever their hair. It is vile and it is another thing we remain ‘under consultant’ care for.
So yes in so many ways life is easier now, and it really is. If you have two young and small ones hang in there I promise those difficult baby days morph into something else. It is something more manageable absolutely but it does bring around a whole new host of challenges and frustrations but I highly suspect that will be the theme of life for the next 15 years, no all the years. Parenthood.