Don’t Be Shy, Darling

Don’t Be Shy, Darling

Confidence is a bugger isn’t it? You have too much and you are cocky, not enough and you are shy or worse rude. Confidence has never been my thing. I have no problem admitting that, it is who I am. Mr Tammy is the opposite of me, he has it by the bucket load. It’s why I like taking him to functions – he can do enough talking for the both of us. So when it comes to our children it’s pretty even 50/50 split as to what trait they may inherit.

My boy is his fathers son, well thus far anyway. He is loud and cheeky. He doesn’t care who you are he will talk to you, dance for you, show off his yoga moves to you. He just loves the attention. My daughter, yeah not so much. She certainly is the quiet type. Not within the house I might add. She can shout and scream as much as the next but out and about she is a different child.

She will hesitate to even look at someone when they are talking to her let alone say actual words. If someone asks her name she will look at me and not answer. She has been going to swimming lessons for weeks now and still won’t speak to the instructor. Instead every time the instructor speaks to her she looks at me, for reassurance? I don’t know.

She must see my Brummie Bestie at least 2 – 3 times a week, yet she still struggles to talk to her. She will do but she takes a while.

Once she wanted some cake that her  cousin had brought so I told her she has to ask her cousin if she was allowed some. She literally hid her face in her hands so her cousin couldn’t see her.

Like any parent, I hate seeing this.

I hate that feeling she must be experiencing. That she is too scared or too shy to actually use her voice. I watch her playing and doing things with others and I know she wants a turn or say something and take part but she holds back. She cannot bring herself to say anything, she is so shy.

It is horrible being shy. You miss out, you spend your time nervous or anxious. You are afraid to put yourself out there and achieve all you might really be able to and one of the worst things is that people think you are rude. Rude for sitting quietly, not always making conversation or keeping it going.

Being shy and being rude aren’t one in the same. If shyness is not a characteristic of yours you probably don’t get it. For some people it really isn’t that easy to just strike up conversation, to talk. Some people are good with numbers, some with their hands, some with people. We all have our skill set and sometimes conversation isn’t one of them. Yes being a people person is a skill set. My Tammy has made a career out of it. Either way being shy is painful and I hate that this may be the experience my daughter is heading for.

I want her to experience all there is and all life has to offer. I don’t want her to miss out or feel she cannot go for whatever her dream may be because her shyness or lacking confidence holds her back. I want her to get on well at school and with other children and not be afraid to join in or stand up for herself. Throughout her life.

Z, my darling you are bright star, you need to sparkle, don’t hide in the dark

I am sure I am not alone in wanting this for my child. I try to encourage her, to get her to talk to people, ask for things and she is still so so young with so much growing up to do and new experiences to undertake. I appreciate the role her age has to play in it but from someone who no longer has that excuse, I worry.

Like many things in this parenting game, I do not have the answer. Other than to praise and encourage I do not know what else I can do. Is it a cause of nature vs nurture here? I don’t know? Do you? Do you have a shy child? DO you have any tips for promoting confidence in your littles ones? I’d really love to hear from you.

Don't be shy darling? Do you have a child crippled by shyness? lacking in confidence? How do you help sparkle and get over that all inhibiting lack of confidence?