Yeah that’s right I just wished myself Happy Birthday. Whatever. It’s my birthday and I can do whatever the heck I like. I wrote a post not dissimilar to this last year, on my birthday. It wasn’t really intentional and Having just read it back it was very sombre, very reflective and the 12 months previous had evidentialy taken their toll. I could feel it in the post and I remember the feeling so very well. They were a very hard 12-16 months though and a lot happened in them, and it took all that time to heal from it. I am not sorry for that.
This year however feels notably different. Life hasn’t been plain sailing these last 12 months, but when it is ever? There have certainly been some real lows, some illness and at times very worrying health issues to contend with.. It often felt a bit like a long and dark winter, or start to the year but one that came to an end and brought some much needed sun onto our lives. Despite all of that, the spring in my step is certainly more pronounced
My babies and I have got into a routine, we know each others likes and dislikes, quirks and nuances – we’ve got it down. Life as a stay at home mum no longer feels so all consuming and fraught as it once did. It still challenges me daily and there is no doubt I still find it hard at times but it no longer feels as though it defines me, not all of me anyway. Life has started to rebuild outside the confines of parenthood and it has started to be really lived again.
We’ve travelled around a lot in 12 months with a young family, in fact today, my actual Birthday, we are in Portugal and Mr Tammy and I are dining at the beautiful Monte De Quinta Hotel to celebrate. I have been able to start visiting home more, seeing those who matter dearly. I have had nights out with friends and stayed with family and it has contributed to feeling as though life is no longer, eat, sleep, feed repeat or a constant worry over my two such young babies.
I have been able to get back to the gym, pure exhaustion no longer dictates my life or energy levels and I feel good for it. I am starting to get back to a version of former ‘fitness’ self. I will perhaps never be quite as I was but that is OK. Either way it is a refreshing and adds to that bouncy step.
I am also excited for the future. We have a lot of cards on the table at the moment and I look forward to seeing how they pan out. I look forward to seeing how my children grow, to them reaching new milestones and experiencing new things. The fact my daughter can talk to us now really makes those new experiences that little bit more special.
I have a lot to be thankful for and this year I truly feel that. I recognise that there is a lot to appreciate and am happier for it. I am thankful this year was so much better than the last, that my son is so much better and healthier, than the last. That my daughter and step daughter have come so far in a year and really started to develop into wonderful people. I am thankful that Mr Tammy and I made it through what was a very difficult time in both our lives and we are better for it. That we are finding our stride as a family of 5 and that we are really starting to live life again.
No doubt there will be more bumps in the road but for this year I am grateful and hopeful for more of the same, if not a better next year. After all it is the last year I will spend in my twenties! Better make it count.