#Whatwouldyoudo? Could You Emigrate?

#Whatwouldyoudo? Could You Emigrate?

Mr Tammy and I have always said we are destined for sunnier climes, you may have noticed our penchant for holidays, despite our recent travel ban. In fact we actually met in foreign sunny lands so our mutual love of a the warmer climate was apparent from the get go.

We have talked about the possibility of a move abroad many a times, we still do. We have always thought if we were to go the best time would be before the children start school or as close to those days as possible. On the basis that the younger they are (hopefully) the more adaptable they will be. Adaptable to a different way of schooling, different language, different way of life. We have it in our heads it would be easier on them to do it at this age. Well the deadline is looming as in just 12 months our first-born will be starting school.

So is it now or never?

Well with such a step there are so many things to consider, obviously.

What about family?  I don’t live near mine in this country and I find that HARD. Particularly now that I have children. How on earth would I fair thousands of miles and a plane ride away, let along 90 minutes down the m5? Now of course people will visit and we would come back at time but well it is not the same is it and I really hate goodbyes.

Zara and Nanny Pat

Then theres friends. I hate being away from my friends from home but I have made some wonderful friends in my new(ish) home and the thought of loosing these as well is basically rubbish. Then having to start all over again, meeting new people in a new and unknown language that bit older and for someone who is naturally on the quiet side – yeah not so appealing.

Of course there is also the language barrier.  I have loved languages since I can remember, when I was a child I would just sit and listen to people speaking a different language. Weird I know but it fascinated me. I pursued this love right up until my twenties when I became fluent in French and passable in German. That was a long time go however and the need to use them is none existent as I imagine my skills would be now. Whilst I do believe I would be able to and enjoying learning a forgein language, particularly Spanish or Portuguese (our potential destinations) there will still be that initial and difficult transition period where all the admin has to be done, lots of legalities and so on – doing all this with limited language knowledge makes the whole thing so much harder and more daunting.

Then the biggies employment – everyone needs the dollar. Dollar makes the world go round. Country of choice has an impact on this as does your profession. Being legally trained in British law basically limits me to the British legal system. Mr Tammy runs his own business here, there is potential for this to translate or run from afar but it is not that simple for everyone or even necessarily for us. Then again there is language barriers if of course that is an issue. Will the wage translate? Will the work life balance? Will you have to start all over again? It really could make or break the decision.

Of course Brexit shouldn’t be overlooked either, not if you’re staying within the E.U. Yes I am still bitter, no, resentful over it. It has potentially taken something away from us but at the very least has brought about an unparalleled level of uncertainty. It is such a cluster fuck it could be a post to itself, so I will leave it there.

Not to mention, it is scary, really scary. It is the unknown for some that is something to thrive on for those who like a grasp on control, not so much. It is a big thing to uproot your family to the unknown, unknown way of life, culture, people, place and is it fair to put them all through it?

You really could talk yourself out of it couldn’t you? Then when I take a step back and get a grip on the situation and remember my two little ones I remember why it is it is even on the radar. It is that different and potentially better life for them. Of course there is the outdoor element. Like all children my two thrive in being outside. They run everywhere and are genuinely so much happier to be out and about. Being somewhere where this is an option for 300 days of the year, without needing copious layers or waterproofs sounds perfect. Somewhere where life is lived outside and not largely spent within the four walls of your house. In fact all of our family adore the sunshine and warmer days and it is without doubt a huge factor in the decision-making.

Zara and Mr Tammy on the beach
Then there are the opportunities it could bring the children, educational, languages, sports, cultures. I am not saying they do not have advantages or options in the U.K as they do but I can’t help but feel there is more available to them, as I become more and more disillusioned with life and education for young people in this country

Both my children, but my daughter in particular have health related issues, not serious ones but difficult to manage at their age, or any age really that are improved in the better weather. Seriously. Not perfect but certainly better. My daughter is under consultant care and potential treatments are surgical. This just seems bonkers when a life in the warmth could have a similar and incredibly less invasive effect.

Then there is their father. He works long hours and is under lots of stress. I know who isn’t? But it is not good for him, or the family. It impacts on his health and wellbeing and the knock on effect on the family is notable. If it is within your grasp to reduce this, to improve stress levels and wellbeing for everyone is it something that should be overlooked or discarded as a pipe dream.

I don’t know about you but I always feel I am rushing everywhere, rushing through life to get from one thing to the next without slowing down to enjoy it. I wonder if this hailed ‘Mañana’ mantra of the mediterranean is actually the answer to a better quality of life for everyone, Mr Tammy and his workload included. I am sure we cannot be the only people who have ever looked further afield for this reason?

Then what about YOLO – you do after all only live once. Is now the time to grab the opportunities and make the most of them while we are still young and our family can reap the benefits. Do we want to wait until our 60s to retire abroad and ‘wish we had done it sooner’.

I don’t know. Well I think I might

Zara in pool

What do you think? Could you emigrate? Have you? Are you an expat? Or is there no place like home here in the U.K or wherever it may be for you? I’d love to hear from you.

 

What would you do? Could you emigrate? The pros and cons of emigration and starting a new family life abroad

JakiJellz
Mum Muddling Through
Follow:

26 Comments

  1. September 4, 2017 / 7:23 am

    Well I am an immigrant to the UK but have lived here essentially all of my adult life (since I was 21, which was a very long time ago). I’m not sure if I would ever like to leave here because as you say I’m all settled and have my comfy house and friends. I don’t have any of my family here but my husband’s is…not that we see them all that often. I guess I wouldn’t say never but it’s not on the horizon for us. It’s a big decision! But often you do regret more the things you DON’T do, rather than the mistakes you made as a result of taking action. Brexit pisses me off too, btw. Limiting our opportunities and wasting our time. #familyfunlinky

  2. As you know, I’m French and I live in Ireland with my Irish husband and our 4 bilingual kids. I have been an expat for 17 years. Truth is, I love being a foreigner. I did miss France and my family to begin with, but then you slowly get used to your new surroundings, meet new friends and explore new places, and this makes me feel more alive. Although it can be stressful at times. Have you considered moving somewhere for a limited time, to see how it goes? I am reading a book by Australian expat to France Catherine Berry, called But You Are in France, Madame, and she initially went to live in the French Alps for one year. Maybe this would be an option to try it out?
    (Brexit is a cluster fuck of epic dimensions, I totally agree.)
    #FamilyFun

  3. September 4, 2017 / 10:55 am

    Embrace the change and go for it. We did and will never regret it. The kids being outside, running free is the best. You will always wonder what if… off you don’t give it a chance. if you don’t like it, move on 😊 #familyfun

  4. Laura: Adventures with J
    September 4, 2017 / 1:14 pm

    Oh this is what I call the round about question. You can go round and round and get stuck on the decision. There are different roads off and you have no idea what may lie on each one. Will you find your way or get totally lost in the process? I know this isn’t helpful but then I am constantly living the dilemma. More though is the fact of lack of opportunity. I haven’t been given mine yet, but I am working on it… so watch this space I guess. If a proper opportunity arises then I would go for it because life is just too short to wait and see. I need to message you a group link…

  5. September 4, 2017 / 8:12 pm

    We’re talking about moving to Spain. We should have done it before our daughter started school but weren’t in a position financially then. Seriously considering it now though and currently looking into options for school and jobs. #FamilyFunLinky

  6. Momoftwolittlegirls
    September 5, 2017 / 10:22 am

    I have moved a lot. A lot. A lot! I’m a Zimbabwean born, Naturalised Brit (Scottish decent) who now lives in South Africa with a husband who would most likely leave tomorrow for NZ given half a chance (by me!)
    My advice, if you’re going to go, does it matter how far? If language and money are two major considerations then what about the US? DT won’t be there forever. Or Australia/NZ. Even the Middle East (Dubai). Those all tick the language and weather boxes, and money and most of them the health care too. Just a thought. Good luck with your decision. I know I’m contradicting myself but currently I’m only a 2 hour flight + 3 hour drive from my mom albeit a different country. NZ and Aus are so so far! 😩

  7. September 5, 2017 / 11:22 am

    I am all for visiting other countries. It’s on my bucket list to travel the world someday (preferably within the next ten years) but to leave the United States? Despite the fact that a lot of Americans have been threatening to emigrate for a long time since Clinton became President and every President since then, I have no desire to leave. Yeah I know there is a lot of negative things happening over here and Americans don’t exactly have the best reputation but I love my country. I could never really leave it behind.

  8. September 5, 2017 / 1:08 pm

    Do it….If you don’t like it then you can move back. Don’t ever regret the things you have done, we only regret the things we didn’t do.

    #triumphanttales

  9. September 5, 2017 / 3:15 pm

    I would go for it, as it be challenging but an experience. If it all goes pear shaped you can always come back X #triumphanttales

  10. September 5, 2017 / 11:55 pm

    Difficult for you and one I’ve not even considered at all. I couldn’t do it. I like the weather and the scenery in the uk especially the north, to leave it behind. We’re not massively close to family. If i could do something to reduce Dave’s stress though I would in a flash regardless of uprooting the kids. Being sole bread winner of is own business is slowly stressing him.
    K x

  11. September 6, 2017 / 5:12 am

    I just don’t think I could! I see my mum every day and I don’t really have very much family so I just couldn’t leave the few family members I’ve got behind. It would be lovely to live somewhere warmer with nice scenery though!

    #FamilyFun

  12. September 6, 2017 / 6:24 pm

    This is basically a reflection of the conversation we have at home A LOT. I can definitely see the pluses and minuses! So hard! #familyfunlinky

  13. September 6, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    My husband would do it in a heartbeat but I couldn’t. Although I do sometimes wonder. I’d say give it a go, like others have said, you can always come back if things don’t work out but at least then you will know. My brother and his family moved to Canada (my sister already lives there) but they were back within a year. They ended up out of pocket for a while as they’d sold their house and had all their stuff transported etc but they’re glad they did it, otherwise they would have forever wondered what if and it forced them to make a lot of changes in their lives for the better. Leaving family is hard but Spain/Portugal aren’t far (and probably faster to fly from there than some areas of the uk when the traffic is bad!). Good luck whatever you decide x

  14. September 7, 2017 / 12:01 pm

    So we lived in Singapore for four years and had our daughter out there (and even came back!) and I say…you only live once! Life is too short to be filled with what ifs I say feel the fear and do it anyway! Good luck whatever you decide though hon it is a huge step and thanks for linking to #coolmumclub xoxo

  15. September 7, 2017 / 1:49 pm

    There’s so much to think about when it comes to where you live, whether it be in this country or abroad. I don’t think I could move abroad now that I’ve got children – I love it here too much! #ablogginggoodtime

  16. September 7, 2017 / 2:49 pm

    My sister wants to go to Australia but she won’t go without us so she spends a lot of time trying to persuade us! Trouble is I would be taking Jake away from grandparents who may never be able to travel that far. #familyfun

  17. September 7, 2017 / 3:30 pm

    I could never do this! I do live far from my family (but I hate it and wish we lived closer) so I could cope with that bit but… I hate change. Change gets me ridiculously stressed. And not knowing exactly what to do gets me stressed too. I would love to live in a warmer climate because, like you, our family loves to be outside, and it must be lovely to have that option so much of the time… but I couldn’t do it! I am interested to find out what you decide to do in the end… #triumphanttales

  18. September 7, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    we left the UK almost 8 years ago to live in South Africa after a phone call out of the blue from my husbands employers and 3 months later we were off with 2 kids aged 11 and 15, I’ll not lie it’s been tough, with missing births, christenings and marriages and emergency dashes back to the UK when family have been taken ill. Sadly my father died in July, I was in the UK at the time, on my 2nd visit this year, sadly i am 1000’s of miles away from home for the past 2 months without support from my husband and it’s tough.
    The 2 boys both had different educational experiences, the eldest was 6 months short of sitting his GCSE’s and settled in well to the SA Matric system and now lives in Northern Ireland in the Army, the youngest returned to boarding school aged 13 to finish his education due to lack of support for his dyslexia.
    Financially we just made ends meet for 4 years with a poor exchange rate paying UK school fees and broke even. We then moved to Dubai where we’ve been for almost 3 years after the SA government changed the rules on foreigners working there. The youngest finished school this July, we’re financially stable now and will return to the UK in around 5 years. We’ve made amazing friends, had some amazing experiences and travel, our children are well travelled and educated and our other children and family and friends have made the most of visiting us in various locations.

  19. September 7, 2017 / 7:12 pm

    #triumphanttales

  20. September 7, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Oooh I’m intrigued to know what decision you come to?! How exciting. With my Mum being sick over the last couple of years and her not being out of the woods, I couldn’t leave. Certainly not anytime soon. But I have great respect to those that do. Good for you if you do – imagine the blog content you’d get?! #familyfun

  21. September 7, 2017 / 9:46 pm

    I live 2 roads away from where I grew up. I can’t imagine moving town let alone country! #triumphanttales

  22. September 8, 2017 / 3:14 pm

    Home is where your heart lies. I do miss family and friends sometimes but I am happy living in Holland, there could be more sun! I may follow you to sunnier climes. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

  23. September 9, 2017 / 9:56 am

    I’ve lived in Germany, Japan and Spain but wouldn’t want to do it now I’m a mum – but that’s just me. We’re happy where we are by the seaside! #familyfunlinky

  24. September 9, 2017 / 12:04 pm

    Me and Hubby talk about emigrating all the time. In his line of work, being trained in the UK is the most expert form of training in the world so if we went to somewhere like New Zealand (not Oz as their is too many spiders according to Hubby) I can jump on a spousal visa and Hubby will get a job no problem. Imagine the heat non-stop, the lovely accents etc. The only way we won’t move is due to his parents as they’re a super close family. Then when it’s just him and his sister left he’s worried about leaving her in the UK on her own so in reality it probably would never happen dammit!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

  25. September 10, 2017 / 2:03 am

    I think I could do this! The girls are young and the US has become quite the global late nite joke. Truth is, it’s scary here with mr t and I would love to take the Mrs and the girls and my Gatsby to someplace safe, lovely and filled with empathy. Do you know where that may be? #ablogginggoodtime xoxo