I have done a bit of soul-searching of lately, when it comes to this here blog and life in general. I have taken my foot off the pedal in terms of my blog, dropped the amount I post, decreased the amount of time I spend in front of my laptop. In turn I have noticed the effect on stats, engagement and ops. I was quite alright with this really as it is what I needed to do for a bit. We all need to take a break sometimes and that is quite fine. I needed to find a bit more balance in my life, to not just spend every evening tapping away on my Mac. I needed to relinquish the grip on my phone when I am supposed to be with my children. I needed to use what little spare time I have for something other than my virtual word, to use it to exercise, to veg in front of the telly mindlessly, read a book, to talk to my other half, order the food shop or just leave the house.
I was trying to do too much, I was trying to make my blog into something I wasn’t ready for it to be. The children will go to school one day and I will have more hours to dedicate but patience has never been my strong suit. I am now somewhere between the two, finding the right balance that allows me to have a life outside of my blog and allowing it to maintain is presence…and my income.
I have decided to go back to writing for me, as much as possible. Somewhere along the line this has got lost. Writing what you want, regardless of what other may think is, to my mind, what makes your writing more authentic and readable and at the very least, more enjoyable.
My soul-searching hasn’t ended here. Other aspect of life have come under the microscope, namely my (our) fitness and yes, waist lines. I have always been a physically fit person, pre children and during my fitness heyday I would do 5 – 6 spin classes a week, 3 on a Monday, the first being at 7.15am and then two back to back of an evening. I would do the same double classes on a Thursday and occasionally a sneaky Friday afternoon. This was coupled with weight training and running. Yeah I was on it back then. Needless to say this is an impossibility now. For me, at this time in my life, it would not be possible to obtain this level of commitment or physicality.
That said, a healthier and more active lifestyle is certainly not unattainable. For the first time in the 10 plus years I have used social media I am going to talk about body image. I am not happy with mine, I have never been, even in that aforementioned heyday. I may never be truly comfortable but there are things I can do to improve my current feelings.
I would like to lose circa half a stone. It is not a huge amount I know but it would make a difference to me. Ok it was 9lb but I am 2 lb in. I would like to tone areas and be able to feel more comfortable in and out of my clothes. I would also like to be healthier and physically fitter. We always eat well but we are prone to a take away or a meal out, not to mention that
glass bottle of wine, each. As enjoyable as it is it leads to a piss poor nights sleep, feeling crappy and grumpy the next day and wanting all the bread. It needs to stop. It is not good for us, our children or our wellbeing.
It is a tricky one because I am a big believer in that life is to be enjoyed and sometimes the days are so hard, that a glass of wine and Chinese is your happy place and makes the difficult day crumble away. However as with everything I guess there needs to be some moderation and if moderation isn’t working then priorities need to come into play. A sweat fest at the gym can actually make you, or at least me, feel just as good, potentially better, than one too many glasses of wine and ton of greasy food. It will the next day at least.
So why I have written this? Why have I paraded my imperfect self, embarrassing flaws and tendency to drink too much, spend too much time on my blog, and indulge in a sinful bigmac when hungover? Well I am making myself more accountable, to you but more importantly to myself. I have read that those who put their goals into words have a greater chance of them coming into fruition. I also never put anything into the public domain or even voice it to my nearest and dearest unless I mean business. I loathe failing and don’t want others to see me fall. So in doing this, here is my accountability.
What about you, do you have something you would like to improve? Something you need or want to change? I’d love to hear from you.