Cheated Out Of Year Or Grateful For Your August Birthday?

Cheated Out Of Year Or Grateful For Your August Birthday?

Both my children had a due date at the end of August. Neither of them waited that long but the eldest did hang until the early doors of August at least. At the time I remember thinking if she was to be a week late she’d be a September baby, she’d be the oldest in her year and we’d have an extra year together. My dear old Granny, and Nanny Pat for that matter, were very much in the camp of ‘oh good, I am glad for your sake’. Whatevs I thought.

As the time has gone on and I had a second baby precisely 11 months and 1 day after I would be lying if I said I didn’t  see their point of view.

I mean wow two babies in such a short space of time is full on. There is zero time for yourself. To say I find some days hard is an understatement. The constant need to not just be near me but on me and the following you round a room screaming ‘mum mum’ is you know, fun.

Toby on the floor

Mr Tammy and I don’t have the luxury of grandparents or extended family to double up as childminders so we have one day a week together when the children go to nursery. Judge me at your leisure, but I am not apologetic. Mr Tammy works 6 days a week and long hours. From sun up until sun down, and during sun down I am on child  duty, tending to their every need. So if Mr Tammy and I want some time together, or alone, to wade through life admin or go for an interrupted meal then it must happen between the hours of 9-5 on a Tuesday.

I treasure Tuesdays. I am ready for them when they come around. The chance to be just me without snotty fingers all over me is greatly appreciated.

So I kind of understand what the grandparents were harping on about. Perhaps August and July babies isn’t all bad.

Before you all write me off as the anti-parent who hates her kids. I don’t. Far from it.

Obviously I love my children, I don’t need to tell you that.

What is dawning on me, more and more each day is that my tiny 5lb 5 August baby will be heading off to school in a little over 12 months and our time together will be over. The days of having nothing to do and searching for a plan for the three of us to do and enjoy will be no more. Me and the boy will be a two-man band as my daughter and I say goodbye to a phase of my life that has been so utterly testing but so unbelievable special.

The thought of our days now being dictated to by her requirement to be in someone else’s care between the hours of 9-3 makes me feel a bit sick. I have no intention to home school her don’t get me wrong but the thought of this time of our life ending is so very sad. It is a time that we won’t get back, that we can’t re-live, that we will never have again. Sad. Very sad.

I have a slight safety net in that the boy will be with me. I won’t be left sobbing alone, but the following year his time will come. I will be seeing him head off in his uniform to gain yet more independence from his dear old mum who whinges about her current lack independence, daily.

I know it is a part of life, part of their growing and part of having children and there really is nothing I can do about it. I know this time will come and go and I will get over it but for now, I am watching the days slip past me ever quicker, mourning each one as they pass. Our days of freedom will be no more, our days where it is just me and my babies against the world. Our days where we are free to do as we please are numbered. It makes my insides hurt.  I know, deep down, how lucky I am to have had this time and I know I have taken it for granted at times but that doesn’t make its cessation any easier.

toddler day out at the farm

So yes whilst at times the thought of 9-3 to myself sounds appealing, the reality of the situation, well it is sad and I can’t help but feel cheated out of a year with both my little August baby and July baby.

What about you? Do you have a summer baby? Do you feel cheated out of a year? Or do you have a September baby? Are you celebrating that extra year or cursing? I’d love to hear from you.

you feel you have been robbed of a year with your little one before they start school?

 

JakiJellz
Mummuddlingthrough

33 Comments

  1. July 11, 2017 / 5:36 pm

    When we were trying for a baby we hoped for a Sept baby but after years of infertility it really became so unimportant. However as it would happen, our ivf twins were born in Oct and I am honestly so grateful I get them that extra year. I know exactly what you mean when you say that the time feels so limited and rushing by. Enjoy your final free year with both your littlies #triumphanttales

  2. July 11, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    my babies are January, april and may birthdays and now 25, 22 and 18. I cried when the first one went to school and i creid when the last one left school last week as my parenting days came to an end. There will be a million and one emotions you will go through as a parent, it’s not just the firsts, it’s the lasts that get you as well and take you by surprise. #triumphanttales

    • Melanie
      July 13, 2017 / 2:06 pm

      As long as your children are alive, your parenting days aren’t over. They will always need you, and maybe even need you as a grandparent one day! 😀

  3. July 12, 2017 / 2:10 am

    First- that little face on your daughter- I am DYING over her expression. Love it.

    After ten years I am about to send the twins to preschool. That is it. They have been by my side nonstop- my little preemies- and now they are going to have freakin BACKPACKS! I dont know how I will bear it.

    God bless Tuesdays.

    #tritues

  4. July 12, 2017 / 7:09 am

    My kids were born in October, December and March, so are neither the youngest kids in their year or the eldest. But you do really notice a difference in the kids born towards the beginning and end of the school year #FamilyFunLinky

  5. July 12, 2017 / 7:22 am

    I’m going to end up with one of each I think, unless number 2 turns up incredibly early… I’ll let you know how I feel! Although an extra year with my 2nd seems the right way to do it! I’ve not really thought about it though I just have been thinking I’ve got a whole year before number 1 gets free nursery placement. A year with 2, I’ll feel your pain! #ff

  6. July 12, 2017 / 7:30 am

    In Holland children start school the day after their 4th Birthday. But don’t legally have to attend until they are 5. They start in a 0 group and move to group 1 (Reception) in the September but as my oldest has his birthday on 30th July he started in september. Little man started in February so got a few months in group 0 to get used to school and as he started with only 1 other child he got lots of support to settle in. I think this is a good method but it seems harsh that literally the day after they turn 4 they are gone. Thank you for hosting #FamilyFun 🌟

  7. July 12, 2017 / 7:55 am

    August babies do have it hard and even though my eldest is a May baby she still seemed so little when she started school. They soon adapt though and the gap closes. A couple of my eldest’s friends are the youngest and you would never know that there’s nearly a year between them and some of their classmates. My eldest went to nursery 3.5 days a week so school was no big deal to her, in fact the days were shorter! Hope your little one enjoys it!! Thanks for hosting #familyfun. Sorry it’s been a while!

  8. July 12, 2017 / 8:22 am

    I’ve never really thought about this! Mine are both Winter babies though so I guess I’ve not needed to. I remember being really sad when the Boy started school like it was the end of our time togethter. But, now i dread the holidays! #familyfunlinky

  9. July 12, 2017 / 8:49 am

    Oh I’m loving the sound of your Tuesdays! I need to talk to Mr S about this! Oh and having both September and August babies I hear you. Georgia was only just 4 when she started school – so so little! But it did me a little bit of a favour as I had the other two small ones. However, I was grateful that they were both September babies as I had them for that little longer! #FamilyFun

  10. July 12, 2017 / 10:26 am

    I’ve never thought of this for my children.. I’ve taught and sometimes as part of someones statement it’s been stated as a factor but I’m really not sure how I feel about it. It’s interesting. My little one is only 14 months and I feel she would thrive in nursery but we are currently in a place that only takes them a 2yrs, unless you send them with a nanny. So school seems far off. I guess when she starts and through life I don’t want her to compare herself to anyone else and for her to be the best she can be. I hope when she starts, she’ll take it from where she is and 1 day at a time and that I do too. Great thoughts though. #FamilyFunLinky

  11. July 12, 2017 / 11:28 am

    Popping in from #family fun. Thanks for hosting every week
    #familyfun

  12. July 12, 2017 / 11:29 am

    Aw I’ve never really thought about this before. My daughter’s birthday is January so I guess I get the extra year. Man it must be the hormones cos I welled up reading that about how you feel dreading when this time will be over. I feel the same, I will sob so hard when Miss Belle goes to school. Hopefully I’ll have another to keep me on my toes. Oh and yes, your tuesday sound like me wednesdays! Although my hubby doesn’t join me, but man I live for Wednesdays at the moment!! #FamilyFun

  13. July 12, 2017 / 12:01 pm

    Aww – they grow up so fast, don’t they? The Popple is a June baby so we won’t have the extra year. I think it’s great you and Mark have a day to yourselves each week and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. Adrian and I pretty much only have dates during the week when we take a day off from work and go out to lunch/the cinema while she’s in nursery. #familyfun

  14. July 12, 2017 / 2:26 pm

    I have a May baby and we started her in school pretty early. I hated it, but she was ready and loved it. I think that every kid is going to be different in how prepared they are and I wish that there was less emphasis placed on their age and what they should be doing. The good thing about August babies is outside birthday parties! Will make a big difference as they get older. #familyfun

  15. July 12, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    You know you don’t have to send a child to school until the term after their 5th birthday? Schools will try to discourage this but that is the law. In your case, it would mean that they would go straight into year 1 as a 5 year old however which is not ideal. You could also wait until the beginning of January or March -you do have that choice -you can spend your voucher in a nursery if you prefer. I know that many parents don’t want to wait but for others just having this choice is reassuring. You babies are gorgeous and I am sure that they will fine in school but I know you will miss them! Lovely post.I have linked a post about starting school funnily enough! #Familyfunlinky

  16. July 12, 2017 / 8:50 pm

    I’d never really considered August birthdays like this. My lo was born in april #familyfunlinky

  17. July 13, 2017 / 5:53 am

    No idea…I can’t decide I mean. I’m so torn! E is in preschool and would stay for another year if he were a few weeks later born…hmm on th one hand I would love that, on the other I think he’ll enjoy school and is ready for a bit more learning BUT we’ve had to think that as he’s going! O is September so will have two years of forest school and preschool and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Haha these children! Always growing!

  18. July 13, 2017 / 10:47 am

    Ahhh I totally get this my daughter is starting school in September and I’m like…slow down the growing up train! Although we have had our moments I am really loving her company right now and it totally sucks that soon she will be spending most of her days without, not with me. It’s so hard, and we all mourn together. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

  19. July 13, 2017 / 11:44 am

    My daughter’s birthday is the 22nd July. Her birthday is always pretty much the last day of the summer term (I infact had her on my son’s last day of summer term!). Whilst some of her peers are nearly a year older than her she seems to be coping with it well. As nice as it would of been to have more time with her, she was ready for school. I now try to make time for us together at weekends or after school. Time is precious, we must try and make the most of it.
    #FamilyFun

  20. July 13, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    Sarah, I love this. I could’ve written it myself. I am exactly the same as you. Molly is a summer baby; she turned 3 on Wednesday this week. She will start school like yours next September and I am not ready for that. Is she going to be ready for that? Molly and my niece Jess will both start school next year together but Jess is a September baby and she seems so much older and way more advanced than my baby Molly. Probably because she is 10 months older.. How will the summer babies keep up with the babies that are practically a year older than them? Also, as you said, we lose a year with our summer babies and I will really miss our time together. But at the same times, the days filled with tantrum after tantrum make me think next September can’t come fast enough 😂😂😂 #TriumphantTales

    • July 14, 2017 / 7:16 am

      Hi just popping back from the #FamilyFunLinky 😊

  21. July 13, 2017 / 9:48 pm

    My children were born in November and February so no problems with school start dates for me. My eldest is coming up to school over the next year or so, and I am really not looking forward to it. I think it will be the signal that she is not my little baby anymore, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to accept that! #FamilyFun

  22. July 14, 2017 / 5:43 pm

    I have an October son, he was due beginning of October but didn’t come until halloween! he would be one of the oldest in class, but I think we are going to home ed. #familyfun

  23. July 14, 2017 / 7:14 pm

    I have an August baby and from the moment she was born I’ve been upset about missing out on that extra year. She has a friend she plays with at toddler group who was born three weeks later and they will be separated by a whole year at school, it just feels wrong. That being said, she started going to nursery one morning a week at the start of the year and has been begging to go for longer so in September she will start pre-school for two and a half days and she is so excited. Seeing how much she loves it there has eased my worries slightly but I now feel like putting her in preschool is taking away yet another precious year. I’m just hoping I can squeeze enough work into those two and half days that the rest of the week can be spent just us doing whatever she wants and making the most of every moment. I think it’s harder this time round because I know she is my last x
    #FamilyFunLinky

  24. July 15, 2017 / 7:46 am

    My first two were spring and winter babies and were ready for school, especially the winter born child. My 3rd son is July 13 born and so we’ve applied to defer his reception start until the term after he turns 5 in Sept 2018. I have blogged about our reasons why and the Summerborn campaign and yes I would feel cheated if I was sending him this year as he’s still so little. My fourth baby was born late August 16 and so I will have the same dilemma again! I wish I had held on until the 1st September! #coolmumclub

  25. July 15, 2017 / 8:34 pm

    I always wanted a September baby, to have that extra year together, but ended up with a February one! #triumphanttales

  26. July 16, 2017 / 1:36 pm

    ahh it must be so hard! I’ve been craving more time at home with Ben and this week being sick I got that.. and I’m raring to go back to work already haha. I guess its a grass isn’t always greener situation! Im sure school will make weekends treasured memories!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back on Tuesday.

  27. July 16, 2017 / 7:59 pm

    My eldest is 4 in August and is going to school in September. Part of me is relieved and the rest is really sad about it! My baby is an October boy so I’ll have another year at home with him. I don’t know if I feel cheated out of a year but I do kind of wish we had a bit more time together. Your Tuesdays sound amazing by the way!xx #familyfun

  28. July 17, 2017 / 4:04 pm

    My kids were born August and July. For me at the moment it doesn’t really make a difference because. Because we live in Portugal now we decided it would be best to put them in a bilingual school and as it is private we have to pay for it :( I suppose if we were in England it would be a different story completely and I would be in the same boat as you. #familyfun

  29. July 18, 2017 / 7:43 am

    Hmmm I hadn’t thought of this, my son is a year and a half right now so hadn’t crossed my mind. But he’s a December baby so I’m assuming he would be older right? It does make me sad to think he’ll be in school mostly because he’s growing up so fast already! But it won’t be too big of a change for us as hes with a childminder anyway while we’re at work 😁 thanks for sharing with #stayclassymama

  30. Keeley Colyer
    July 18, 2017 / 12:08 pm

    I have a August baby too – 31st of August to be exact! He is yet to turn one yet, but the thought of him heading off to school having literally just turned 4 worries me hugely! I know he will be fine, but i’m pretty sure I wont be! lol

  31. July 18, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    I am an August baby & so was BB – she had been 4 for just 3 weeks when she started school! I was grateful not to have to fork out another year of child care! #familyfunlinky