Oh As I put the boy down for his nap, on our most recent escapade in Portugal Mr Tammy and I sat around the pool with the midday sun glaring on us. Our daughter occupying herself playing with some toys and he said to me,
‘See it’s easier with one isn’t it?’
I rolled my eyes. If I have to hear this one more time. We have two children, get over it.
Yes I am sure sometimes it is easier having one child to keep safe, entertain, feed, clothe and bathe but equally if that one child is being a pain in the arse, well, it’s all hard. One two or three I do believe raising children is a hard and selfless business. That said I do also believe that sometimes having two is harder than having one and I imagine having three to be harder than having two. I imagine the age gap comes into play a bit but whatever the gap whatever the number of children, it’s all hard at times.
Anyway I digress slightly, because as lovely as it was to sit there for an hour in the sun as my boy slept and my girl was happy enough playing this was just an hour of her day. It didn’t take long before I heard ‘mummy where Toby?’
You see for all their fighting, and boy there is a lot of fighting, arguing, snatching, hitting, you name it, actually they quite like each other.
My boy will walk around looking for sister and calling for ‘Zara’ with his hands turned up as if to say she is gone when she is not there. He will call out ‘where are you?. He looks up the stairs for her and looks to me to answer his question. Maybe he is actually quite glad she’s not there to push him off the toy kitchen but I like to think it is because he misses her.
We sat yesterday and had a glimpse into our future, we sat in the sun with a jug of sangria, as they both chased each other around playing and laughing. Happily. Together. We were both so astounded it couldn’t go unnoticed. It was short lived granted but it was good. We sat and watched our children entertain each other, after all, that’s why you have a second child right? Jokes aside, At two and a half and one and half they are starting to show signs of their relationship. Of their sibling bond and love for one another. It is heartwarming to watch.
I have however wondered if it goes deeper than that. The other day I was holding Toby who was facing away from his sister. I could see Zara running off in the distance. She ran so fast she fell over and as she did Toby turned to face me and said ‘ouch’ or rather ‘ow’ and rubbed his knee as if he was in pain. His sister, unbeknownst to him, had just grazed her knees. Perhaps there is nothing in it, perhaps you can read too much into it. I am not sure where I sit on the ‘twin telepathy’ concept. I did wonder however if there is such a thing, as to whether it is solely limited to twins? Is it not just because they (twins) are so close and spend so much time together, especially in those early years, that feeling for one another is not uncommon. I wonder if this is actually starting to develop between my two, with 11 months between them. I don’t know.
What I do know is my two have really started to feel for each other. Toby has recently been ill with a very nasty case of conjunctivitis, in both eyes, which he has kindly given to me. Zara has been so empathetic and loving toward him it has made my insides smile. She has had genuine concern that Toby is ‘not very well’ and tried to comfort him, at all of two and half years.
I hope in my heart of hearts this loving and compassionate relationship between them thrives. That they grow up more than siblings and that one day they can answer my question as to whether they share more than just DNA?
What do you think? Do you believe in the twin telepathy? Do you think there is such a thing and it’s not limited to twins? Or do you think it is just all about proximity and the way we are raised? I’d love to hear from you.