I Don’t Want My Blog To Be…

I Don’t Want My Blog To Be…

When I started my blog I took a vow of honesty, I always wanted to approach my posts openly and honestly. I intended to tell the truth and shine the light of The Other Side Of Parenting, the sometimes dark side. I didn’t want to sugar coat. As time has passed I have tried to maintain this, largely I believe I have, well I haven’t lied, but what I have learnt along the way is that even this isn’t as black and white as you might think. I am immensely proud of my blog and truly love it. I am however more keenly aware of what I do or more specifically do not want my blog to be…

I don’t want my blog to be…

… a place that causes animosity amongst friends, family and loved ones. It would take the fun out of it and add a darker dimension. I never want someone to be able to throw something I have written in my face. I have debated moaning about the state of affairs that is my life at times but have thought better of it, mostly. After all, those cryptic passive aggressive Facebook statuses that people write about others without naming names, but secretly want the offender to see, really piss me off. LIKE REALLY. Grow up. So I guess I would be no better. I have posts that are borderline, and I have really thought about before I hit publish. Ultimately however if it is not something I would say to you personally it won’t have a place on my blog. Also I believe there are ways to get things off your chest, you can have a good moan and point the finger without being offensive, I do believe it is called tact.

… something that will upset my children. They currently have zero idea what a blog is, they cannot read. One day though they will. If my blog is still live or even archived somewhere they may well be able to read it. Part of the idea behind this blog is for us to have something to look back on. I am aware I have had a good old rant in the past about the trials and tribulations that I find motherhood to be, when things haven’t gone to plan or even had a laugh at my little ones expense. Again, I do believe these are all stories I will share with them when they’re older. I will have no qualms in telling them they didn’t let me sleep for two years and it made me want to pull eyes out. Neither will I think twice about reminding them of the tantrums they have that drive me crazy. The pain in the arse that was weaning or the time my daughter took a massive shit in my grandmas living room. These are said with love and are harmless. As they grow older and develop their own opinion, friends, and peer pressure knocks about I may well have to start censoring myself and the photos I publish and I will just have to be ok with that.

laptop phone and notepad

…something that makes me look like a knob. Now bloggers do have a preconception for being self involved or perhaps even braggy. I personally think that is a little unfair and mostly thought by the few who just don’t get the blog culture. That said, I am aware that some posts may come across a certain way, people may jump to certain conclusions about you. Whether it is about your parenting, your life choices, your home, somebody will always have an opinion. I try not to care too much about this as you will never please everyone. Also you have to expect a certain amount of opinion if you do choose to put your life out there for people to see. I have however found myself censoring certain things I might write or pictures I might post on social media or my blog. I am not ashamed but I don’t wish to have to justify myself to anybody. I tend to think if it is not something I would share with an employer, say to someone’s face or be able to cope with the criticism then it won’t have a place on my blog. That is just a personal choice. I admire people who can bear all, explode their deepest emotion onto the page for everyone to pick at or post the picture they truly want irrespective of torrent of shit that may come their way. They are strong and fearless and I aspire to have your courage.

… a sell out. Make no bones about it, I accept paid work. I will write sponsored posts and review items that are gifted to me. I have no problem admitting that, in fact, I am proud of it. The only thing I have become conscious of is accepting every offer that lands in my inbox. For me, there has to be some relevance or interest, or at least something I think I could do justice to.

How about you? What is your approach to your blog? Are you a no holes barred blogger? The censored type? Do you care about other people opinions or trolls you may encounter? What do you want your blog to be or not be?  I would love to hear from you.

My Petit Canard
Follow:

39 Comments

  1. February 3, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    Well seeing as you asked… I am an inconsistent blogger who actually had similar thoughts that you just expressed! I too admire those who can bear their soul but I am a little more cautious about what and how much I share. I love your take on it and your unabashed pride at paid for posts lol :) good for you! Hope you and the Tribe are all well xx

    • tammymum
      February 4, 2017 / 7:18 am

      Nadine!! Lovely to hear from you. I hope you are well? Xx

      • February 8, 2017 / 8:10 pm

        Hey Sweet yes I am well :) Miss you guys, read your other “Discharged” post today – sending hugs xx

  2. February 4, 2017 / 9:46 pm

    Really good points – I hope I approach my blog in a similar way to you. I also don’t want it to take over my life – I have to remember it’s just a hobby!

  3. February 4, 2017 / 10:06 pm

    I am honest with what I write and vlog about, I am just being me. that’s all I know how to do. I totally get what you mean about the Facebook statuses, I hate that too and definitely will not be writing anything like that (well unless someone REALLY pisses me off lol).
    #KCACOLS

  4. February 4, 2017 / 10:35 pm

    I try to only tell stories that are MY stories to tell – my kids and my partner really haven’t signed up to this. However, I made the choice many years ago to make the blog for me, and not chase the $$. So I have no niche (except on the travel blog) and write whatever I want. It makes me a little random but it keeps my interest, and I guess the interest of people who think like me….#KCACOLS

  5. February 4, 2017 / 10:47 pm

    I grapple with a lot of these issues in regards to blogging as well. Sometimes I offend people esp with the column in snarky politics and I curse like a sailor. The thing is- no one is forced to read my writing so there is that. Reviews are eh. I seem to swing back and forth with them. Sometimes I feel like doing them, other times not so much.

    #KCACOLS

  6. February 4, 2017 / 10:55 pm

    I never really set out to write a blog, it just happened to support my campaign work and I have found that I rather enjoy it. I also enjoy the community of people I have found. Most of my writing is about our campaign but I have been worried about publishing some things, particularly one about my son being excluded from a party for disabled children because I was worried about how other parents would receive it, but I have been pleased to discover a lot of support. It is hard though. #KCACOLS

  7. February 5, 2017 / 1:14 pm

    I didn’t have a particular reason to start a blog, I just decided to give it a try after loving reading blogs myself. I started a new Instagram page for my blog because I didn’t really want people in ‘real life’ finding it. It just felt too personal and it made me feel shy. But somehow they found me! It has made me think carefully about what I post x #KCACOLS

  8. February 5, 2017 / 1:37 pm

    I closed my facebook account 6 years ago and haven’t looked back :)

    I blog about personal finances, how to spend less and save more. I try to always be positive and helpful, and also to recognise what I suggest won’t work for everyone because we are all different. I had an epitome recently; in the same way that some people are motivated to stay healthy and exercise, some people are motivated to manage their money well. I really struggle to motivate myself to exercise and I’ve started to try to apply more of that when I talk about money (as I’m a secret savings squirrel šŸ˜‰ )

    #KCACOLS

  9. February 5, 2017 / 3:32 pm

    love this and I know what you mean about when your kids are older and can read. I aim to keep my blog honest as well but also sensitive to what my boy would think one day too. #KCACOLS

  10. February 5, 2017 / 5:02 pm

    I have been writing my blog for over 4 and a half years and I started off with a firm belief that my blog was my space. Then reviews and opportunities took over and I lost my way a bit. But, for the last two years, I have been happy with my space :) It sounds like you know what you want. #KCACOLS

  11. February 5, 2017 / 7:06 pm

    I would have to say I’m the same as you. I aim to be totally honest and so far I know I have. However there are some subjects I think best not to talk about. If it’s going to hurt someone or embarrass someone unnecessarily then its a no go for me. x
    #KCACOLS

  12. February 5, 2017 / 7:24 pm

    I don’t want my blog to be shit – ha ha! But some posts are better than others however I find its my more honest, raw posts that do the best. Saying that, I don’t have an anonymous blog so I have to be careful what a write about. Mostly, I am to do the same as you, be honest, not piss my closest off and not embarrass my son #KCACOLS

  13. February 5, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    I haven’t been blogging long, I think I’m honest, I don’t mind sharing my stuff. I’m more cautious about what I share about my daughter, I have my sister read my posts before I publish, to check they aren’t too personal/embarrassing about her, she’s too little to ask if it’s ok, so I just try to be sensible! I’d love to be paid to post, I’m quite jealous of that! #KCACOLS

  14. February 5, 2017 / 10:41 pm

    Good points. I definitely agree with not posting anything that hurts family, friends or your kids #KCACOLS

  15. February 6, 2017 / 1:00 am

    I often wonder what Rory will think of my blog when he’s older. I guess I will just had to be more careful about what I write once he’s of an age where he can understand. I love the one about been a sell out. I don’t stand much chance if that st the moment but if my blog did ever become popular I certainly wouldn’t want to become a sell out! #KCACOLS

  16. February 6, 2017 / 7:41 am

    Really good points! I think I am probably a bit guilty of baring my soul too much and revealing too much but I hope that I do it in a way that is ok. I love blogging but at times I do question why I am doing it. It’s all a bit mad really. For the record I think that you have got the balance of your blog just right #MarvMondays

  17. February 6, 2017 / 8:18 am

    I’m still finding my feet I think, although I’m certainly not afraid to say what I think. Blogging is a form of therapy for me, and I find I can express myself better by typing the words rather than saying them, as my anxiety leaves me tongue tied & embarrassed most of the time. I love your blog by the way! #MarvMondays

  18. February 6, 2017 / 8:35 am

    It is so important to find your style, know the content you want to share and be true to yourself. Looks to me like you have a great balance in your blog. Mine is also true to me, though it is my marketing for our holidays so I tend to tell the fun and happy events and by pass the loss of an animal! #MarvMondays

  19. February 6, 2017 / 8:47 am

    I am, funnily enough, a very private person – which makes me laugh as I blog but I only write what can not be misconstrued or considered offensive – I very carefully word my posts and get my husband to read each one before I publish. I care too much about what other people think. I think I mentioned this on one of your other posts but I have a post in draft about this subject but am worried about some of the phrasing so need to be careful before I hit that wretched publish button! The world of social media in fact scares me – I need to toughen up I guess but for now that is the way I am! Interesting post lovely xx #MarvMondays

  20. February 6, 2017 / 8:55 am

    I guess it’s finding that balance between brutal honesty which can have the tendency to provoke an opposite opinion and actually being true to yourself. I think you’re doing a great job! x

  21. February 6, 2017 / 11:13 am

    I have no idea what I am. When I started, I thought I’d be funny. I’m not remotely funny, I’m apparently quite foodie, and am always sharing recipes I think people might like. I thought I only new how to cook about 4 things! I’m sure I’ll change again next week!

    Your blog is great btw! #marvmondays

  22. February 6, 2017 / 4:19 pm

    ‘Make me look like a knob!’ Haha this made me chuckle. I think you’ve covered everything here. It’s important to make sure we stay true to ourselves with our blogs. Yours is ace! #marvmondays

  23. February 6, 2017 / 7:10 pm

    I just try and be honest, but also mindful of who is reading, both in terms of people who actually know me & parents who don’t #KCACOLS

  24. February 6, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Hi, what a great read. I think you’ve covered everything. I am similar to you I only share certain things on my blog and blog s few times a week. It’s a great hobby that fits into my life where possible, Chloe #MarvMondays

  25. February 6, 2017 / 9:14 pm

    I love this and love that your sticking to a blogging ethos and focus. I don’t like passive aggressive or aggressive fullstop. Like you I want to not write anything Leo will read back on and be sad, or disappointed or horrified I am honest about my feelings, his tantrums, struggles but I don’t bash him or his dad etc. I was thinking earlier I don’t know what my blog niche is, I don’t ant to come across self centred I worry my posts come across that way as a lot of them are about experiences rather than how too’s etc. I love your blog! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday xx

  26. February 6, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    I tend to write whatever I think of is usually but there are some things that I don’t share because although it may be a part of my life, it’s somebody else’s business and I don’t want to be someone that shares somebody else’s private life like I wouldn’t want it back myself #KCACOLS

  27. February 6, 2017 / 11:29 pm

    My son said from the beginning that he didnt want his photo in my blog. Ive respected that (apart from a very blurred one that didnt identify him). He also made me promise when he was 7 not to write about him, but over the last 4 years hes helped edit some good posts about him as long as he remained anonymous. Id hate to betray him. There’ve been cases of kids sending their parents to Coventry for years
    I think just being true to yourself and your beliefs is the main thing in blogging. Jo #KCACOLS

  28. February 7, 2017 / 6:56 am

    I think we walk similar paths with
    The blogging!! I want to be open and honest,
    But I don’t like to stir the pot or be majorly controversial. It’s not
    My nature so I try to stick to things and voice things in a way that is true to who I am. I also like to share funny stories about
    My kids because if we
    Can’t laugh at our own circumstances what can we laugh at?!?! Thanks for sharing :)
    #kcacols

  29. February 7, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    One of my kids is a teenager, and it can be hard to balance what she is OK with me writing, while at the same time trying not to sugarcoat our lives and keep it real. In the end I think this will be a nice reminder of these days #KCACOLS

  30. February 7, 2017 / 9:52 pm

    I want to be completely honest, but I’m not. I am so aware that people I know could (and do) read my blog. I would love to be able to use it as a place to vent about my frustrations but I don’t want to offend my husband or family when I’m just ranting. It upsets me at times because writing is a way of me getting comment and advice from the blogging community, which I would often value with sensitive topics.

    It’s so tricky isn’t it. But I think we all have an inner ‘alarm’ that tells us when we are going too far.

    #MarvMondays

  31. February 10, 2017 / 3:31 pm

    I’m definitely guilty of over thinking what I want my blog to be in the past. So now I’m just writing for myself. I’m trying to be more honest, more ‘myself’ not what I think others want to read. #kcacols

  32. February 11, 2017 / 2:10 pm

    I don’t want my blogs to be a sell out – but I don’t mind upsetting people :) #kcacols

  33. February 12, 2017 / 8:33 am

    Yes, I’d like to earn money from my blog, but not to the detriment of my blog if that makes sense! Sponsored work has to be relevant #KCACOLS

  34. February 12, 2017 / 9:14 am

    I have a similar outlook towards my blog as your own. I do pretty much write what I want to write abaout tho. I try to think about “what will sell” but I’m not hung up on it. For instance, everyone’s posts seem related to Valentines at the moment as it’s upcoming but I have nothing to say on the matter so I’m not gonna write about it for the sake of it just to make my blog popular lol.

    #KCACOLS

  35. February 13, 2017 / 6:50 am

    I think these echo the goals a lot of us have Tammy. I’d add to not shown my children’s identity (or mine) as it’s tempting at times but remains so important to me.

  36. February 13, 2017 / 2:43 pm

    Oh I hate those types of statuses. I have been on the receiving end of that type of status. Bore off. But I do totally see what you’re saying about blogging. I will always try and be honest and I find that the more honest I am the more popular the post. :) #KCACOLS

  37. February 17, 2017 / 9:44 am

    Your points are really good food for thought..in the end everything we write is on the internet and once it’s there it never really goes away, so you should be conscious of what youre saying and how it could impact years down the line. But then you need a balance otherwise you could be scared about posting everything! Good call on the blog it if I’d tell you it mantra. #KCACOLS