Don’t Grow Up Too Fast Darling

Don't grow up too quickly darling cover photo

This isn’t the post you think, this isn’t me begging my toddlers not to grow up too quickly because toddlers are such a joy. Trust me on that one, this is not that post. This is what I wish someone had told me when I was sneaking a bottle of voddy out of the cupboard, when I thought blue eye shadow was the way forward and choosing tops based on the level of cleavage they would provide.

When I was a child all I wanted to do was ‘grow up’. Do something my years wouldn’t allow. Be it drinking, driving, ssssh smoking, earning, boys, wearing heels, going to work, having independence. I remember being 13, putting some heels on stumbling across the field behind my house, make up on, handbag on, with nothing in it after all what did I need? Going out of view to spark up. Yes you read that right. I almost didn’t write the words for fear my Grandmother might read them. Here’s hoping that one is lost on her.

I was forced to grow up quickly as a child, I think to some extent the oldest of a bigger brood always does. My brood, rather my mum’s brood, consisted of a severely disabled son, (my younger brother) and a daughter with considerable learning  difficulties (my younger sister) as such they needed the attention. That is not a woe betide me statement and I am not bitter about it, not now anyway, ha. It is just the truth, the younger children do need attention and the disabled, REALLY need the attention. So the eldest who is able to dress, shower, and feed themselves does and then some.

I wonder if that growing up quickly had an impact on my desire to age. Age, oh the irony. You see mentally you feel like you are ready, like you are grown up but in reality you are far from it. So far.

I wish I hadn’t. I wish I hadn’t wanted to grow up so quickly. Life is short yes, but it shouldn’t be wished away. That naive innocence should be treasured, it is a blessing. Remain youthful whilst you are in your youth. Enjoy the things designed for your age.

There is no shame in that.

Me ages 15 drinking. Don't grow up too fast

Me and my partners in crime growing up too quickly. Circa 15 years old…

The way you wear your make up is stunning but the way look without it is immeasurable. Your figure is to die for but never forget that less is more. Have a drink and enjoy it but don’t drink to excess you don’t know your limits yet and you don’t need to.

None of this is to say don’t wish or want for anything. Not to aspire or dream. Just to be patient. The world will be there waiting for you when you are ready. Your time will come, but you may regret it if it comes to early. Adulthood is great yes, it gives you opportunities, experiences and power over your own choices but so is childhood. You have a freedom you’ll never have again and an ignorance that can be truly innocent. Savour it, don’t grow out of too quickly, don’t grow up too fast.

My Petit Canard
Follow:

43 Comments

    • tammymum
      January 17, 2017 / 7:46 pm

      Hmm that’s the thing isn’t it..

  1. January 18, 2017 / 7:02 am

    This is such good hindsight advice! People would tell me this all the time when I was younger and would probably have been met with an eye roll! I really enjoyed reading! #familyfun

  2. January 18, 2017 / 7:19 am

    Absolutely, I think that’s the weird thing about being a teenager- you’re desperate to grow up and don’t realise how lucky you are to be one!

  3. January 18, 2017 / 8:09 am

    Great post Sarah! I don’t recall the need or want to grow up when I was a teenager. Something happened in my teens which I think stemmed the desire, I spent most my teens at home with my Mum. Totally different circumstances I guess 😀

  4. January 18, 2017 / 8:43 am

    Beautifully written and I agree so much with the sentiment. I’m not sure that my 14 year old self would have agreed though – I was a sarcastic little thing who probably would have just glared and carried on anyway! #FamilyFun

  5. January 18, 2017 / 8:44 am

    This is so true, I remember feeling the same way! Wanting to be considered an adult… now I look back thinking it’s a shame I didn’t allow myself to be a child for longer… I especially think us girls are quick to want to grow up, peer pressure and expectations! It feels like boys (sometimes) are a bit better at staying kids until they’re ready not to be. xx #familyfun

  6. January 18, 2017 / 10:37 am

    Teenage is a confusing stage – At 1 point, you wish to grow up and jump out of it fast and at the other, you want to stay like this forever without more responsibilities. But yes, there should not be a hurry.

  7. January 18, 2017 / 10:54 am

    Aww I really felt this as am in the total middle of raising three teens as you know – I have no control on them not growing up because their peer group is pushing that forward at an incredible speed – teens have a habit of doing that. What I’m struggling with the most is the worry and the concert about them not taking too many risks. As Jo from mother of teenagers recently said – we’ve all been teens but it is a totally different story parenting a teen and boy is she right – they worry is horrific! I know I was a teen and survived and I should let mine just go out and do the same but it’s so damn hard! Oh I really wish too that they wouldn’t grow up too fast too my lovely Great post as always #FamilyFun

  8. January 18, 2017 / 12:19 pm

    Beautifully written post. It’s funny how clear these things seem in hindsight, isn’t it? I had a teacher in high school who always used to say, ‘Youth is wasted on the young’ and he was right – you don’t appreciate how great it is to be young until you’re already a grown-up with responsibilities and bills and stuff. #FamilyFun

  9. January 18, 2017 / 12:26 pm

    I love this – unfortunately as Lucy said I don’t reckon any of us would have listened! I was especially in a hurry to be in a ‘real relationship’, which when I look back seems such a shame – there’s so much time for that and I wish I’d just enjoyed hanging out with my friends and being young and free a bit more. But hey, hindsight is a wonderful thing! #FamilyFun

  10. January 18, 2017 / 12:44 pm

    Thinking about the girls doing the things I did in my younger years makes me break into a cold sweat.
    #familyfun

  11. January 18, 2017 / 12:58 pm

    I desperately wanted to grow up, it seemed so “cool”. I wish I had enjoyed my younger years a bit more, but hey, don’t we all. But then again I don’t thing I would want to be young again as there seems to be so much pressure on teenagers these days.
    #FamilyFun

  12. January 18, 2017 / 1:20 pm

    I remember desperately wanting to grow up. To wear make up, heels and dye my hair. I always wanted to be thinner.

    Little did i realise that all of those things would come with paying council tax.

    Now i never wear heels, wear minimal make up, and hate that i have to dye my hair! Then, looking back at photographs i was quite obviously far too thin. My arms went in at the sides for goodness sake!

    #familyfun

  13. January 18, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    Beautifully written post and spot on you never get the same freedom as you had as a teen. #FamilyFun

  14. January 18, 2017 / 2:42 pm

    Amen to that! Why oh WHY did I ever smuggle my dance recital makeup (blue eye shadow, just like you, and RED lipstick!) to my school when I was in 6th grade to slather it on as soon as my mom drove off? I looked so flippin’ silly!!!!
    #FamilyFun

  15. January 18, 2017 / 2:46 pm

    Great post, on I’m sure many of us can relate to and none of us would have listened to when we were younger. Like the saying goes, “youth is wasted in the young” x
    #FamilyFun

  16. January 18, 2017 / 5:35 pm

    Wonderfully put! We crave to age, then when we hit that age, we don’t know what to do. Well that’s me anyway!
    #familyfun

  17. January 18, 2017 / 8:41 pm

    I definitely couldn’t wait to grow up and am now finding it’s kind of a drag. Oh to have that freedom and youth and beauty again! #familyfun

  18. January 18, 2017 / 8:43 pm

    The post I linked up this week is very similar. Great minds and all that! #familyfun

    • tammymum
      January 18, 2017 / 8:43 pm

      Ha absolutely. I’ll look forward to reading!

  19. January 18, 2017 / 9:10 pm

    Oh I love this. I grew up far too quickly and wish I could of taken things slower and never sparked up haha #familyfun

  20. January 18, 2017 / 11:04 pm

    If your grandma is anything like other grandmas, she probably knew you were smoking at the time :)

    Grandparents are smarter than teenagers, they know what to look out for because they did it all themselves and know the tricks

  21. January 19, 2017 / 1:31 am

    Oh so true! My husband and I talk about this all the time because my 12 year old is always talking about when he’s grown up, what kind of house he wants, the job he’ll have, the money he already has set aside to help himself… he’s a little man already and we keep warning him that as much as we too wished to grow up we’d now give anything to go back and not be quite so grown up. I want him to enjoy these years as much as he can; milk them for all their worth!!

  22. January 19, 2017 / 7:22 am

    Why do teens want to grow up so quickly? I remember thinking I knew everything but looking back realising how naive I was. I regret the wasted opportunities I could have had as a teen. Shoulda woulda coulda and all that. Just this weekend my teen brother was talking about moving out to get his own place, I tried to advise he stays put with my dad and make the most of the freedom – I dont know whether he will take the advise but I really hope he does so he can stay young for longer.. #familyfun

    • January 23, 2017 / 12:10 pm

      Hi. Just popping back for #MarvMondays x

  23. January 19, 2017 / 7:22 am

    Why do we all do this as teenagers??? Why can we not see that being a teenager is enough, rather than striving to be an adult at the same time??? Great words of advice but I suspect (in true teenager spirit), they will sadly fall on deaf ears… #FamilyFun

  24. January 19, 2017 / 8:11 am

    You’re so right but hindsight is such a great time. Even today I am don’t listen like when people told me to do absolutist nothing during mat leave before my daughter was born. I didn’t listen then either… We never learn! #FamilyFun

  25. January 19, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    Very well said – if only we could be young forever! #familyfun

  26. January 19, 2017 / 5:43 pm

    I remember those days like it was yesterday. I remember wanting to be older than my years. We don’t realise how pressure those years are until it’s too late. And teenagers these days seem so much older than their years! Great post. #familyfun

  27. January 19, 2017 / 10:11 pm

    Beautifully written and a lovely sentiment…. I grew up too fast too…. I hope ours hang on to childhood a little more. #familyfun

  28. January 20, 2017 / 4:59 am

    Beautifully done. It is cathartic to reminisce every once in a while. Even though I have enjoyed every decade of my life and look forward to at least a couple more or three, I do look in the mirror now and see flashes of what I might look as an old woman. Gulp! This was such a fun read, to see a slice of life from the other side of the world. #familyfun

  29. January 20, 2017 / 8:38 pm

    I used to think Sundays dragged and wish them away until I had children. #FamilyFun

  30. January 20, 2017 / 10:15 pm

    gosh i can totally relate to this! i definitely wished my time away when i was younger! xx #familyfun

  31. January 21, 2017 / 9:55 am

    I 100% grew up too fast and I don’t want that for my daughter. When I was 17 I had a 33 year old boyfriend who turned out to be engaged (the cad!). All in the name of wanting to grow up. I’d do it all differently if I had my time again x

  32. January 21, 2017 / 10:40 am

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing, however as I was so young looking I actually only went to my first pub underage at 17 and by that point I’d already done the blotto-head down the loo style drinking! but also been smoking since 13 also.
    #sharingthebloglove

    • January 21, 2017 / 11:06 am

      argh no #familyfun what am i doing? i cant even blame hangover either noooooooooo

  33. January 21, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    My daughter is only 8 and i keep having this discussion with her…she is already thinking of when she can move out, what college she can attend, what she will be able to wear….ugh! #FamilyFun.

  34. January 21, 2017 / 9:59 pm

    Just be patient! I love that line. Not surprisingly I say that to my eldest teen all the time. Hindsight though is a wonderful thing. Whatever stage we are at when we are young, we want the next stage to come along quickly. Great post.\familyfun

  35. January 23, 2017 / 8:49 am

    I’m trying to pass on these words of wisdom to my niece – a very sassy, confident 12 year old who is trying to act like she’s 18. The pouting selfies on Instagram, caked in makeup and asking for everyone’s comments. I could cry. I’m determined as a mother to try and keep my kids dressing and acting their age but I’m guessing this is probably an ambitious plan. Ha x

  36. January 23, 2017 / 10:01 am

    Very well said. I can relate to this. I was in such a rush to grow up, I do think you are right that being the oldest sibling has something to do with that. I would tell my younger self the same as this, however, I suspect she would have flicked the Vs at me because I was not one for listening! :- ) Lovely post. #MarvMondays

  37. January 23, 2017 / 8:37 pm

    #marvmonday I have the opposite issue..I hate adulting. I never fully want to leave the soul of my inner 5yo – as a teacher in an all girls school though I can tell you the majority are in the biggest rush of their lives :(

  38. January 25, 2017 / 11:44 pm

    I can relate to this post a lot. Like you I had to grow up quickly as my younger brother is disabled. Growing up in a single parent household his demands were greater than mine.
    I remember dressing up in my mums clothes and ‘borrowing’ her makeup. I couldn’t wait to be an adult! If only I’d have know the hard work, stress and worries that come with been an adult maybe I would have slowed down and enjoyed my youth!
    Great post #marvmondays