So You Think You Can Write?

So You Think You Can Write?

I have always liked writing, I suspect as a blogger I am not the only one and in fact thats a pretty stupid thing to say. Nonetheless it’s true, as a school student English was always one of my favs and I loved our creative writing portion of our GCSEs. My teacher probably didn’t when I handed in a 40 page A4 story… In another life screen play writing would have been the dream, the emotive gritty scenes I see gracing our screens never fail to set me off. Anyway I became a lawyer not a writer and when throwing in my legal towel to take up the challenge of SAHM blogging was really the obvious outlet for me.

Thus far I have loved it, especially the writing aspect, which ironically is a relatively small part of it. Like  many I have had writers block or times when I have needed a break but one thing that has always kept it going is requirement to write. Until recently.

Recently something happened, something more than writers block. I couldn’t write.

It wasn’t because I didn’t have the ideas, they were there in droves. Neither was it the lack of time.

I found myself in the midst of a very big confidence crises. I was suddenly very aware of who my audience was. I know that there are bloggers who read my posts and I know there are people I know offline, family, friends, aquanitences who read them. I know what you are thinking, thats great you moron, you have readers that is clearly a good thing.

Yes it is. Mostly.

I was however suddenly very aware of these people. When I was writing posts or thinking of posts I couldn’t help but think ‘well so and so won’t like this’ or ‘XYZ won’t appreciate this comment’ and so on. Blogger appropriate posts were not always mummy friend appropriate posts and vice versa. I couldn’t find a way to please everyone. I was worried some people would think I was an ungrateful cow moaning about my children and then I worried others would think I was soppy ‘my kids are all amazing joys even when they’re being shits’ type.

The result of all this was that I wrote nothing. Sensible solution huh?

So how did I get over it?

Well I would love to sit here and sprout out inspiring comments like ‘write for you’ ‘write like no one is reading’ ‘be you’re own audience’ but I can’t. I don’t completely buy that. Yes there is certainly merit to it and I am trying to adopt said philosophies as best I can but ultimately we are going to think about our audience and whether people will like what we publish, we’re human.

What actually helped me most was taking a break. Fortunately the Christmas break came at just the right time as the break was forced upon me. It gave me some time off and some time out of my head. It allowed me to get over myself, get a reality check and some much needed perspective. Taking a step back sometimes really can be the best medicine. The time off and away from something, even something you love, can remind you why you loved it in the first place and make you want to get back to it.

So where am I now? I do still have some of those niggles in the back of my head when I am writing or going to hit publish but I am not letting them stop me writing. It is often a case of mind over matter but just taking the plunge and hitting publish can also be liberating.  I am writing what I want to write and trying not to dwell on what EVERYONE might have to say about it. You can never, after all, please everyone.

What about you? Have you ever had a confidence crisis? Has it stopped you doing something you loved and how did you get over it? I would love to hear from you.

Diary of an imperfect mum
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22 Comments

  1. January 11, 2017 / 8:41 pm

    Totally relate to this! I blogged anonymously for a few months and the words poured out of me, it was so easy. Then I accidentally outed myself by linking my blog Instagram to my personal facebook. Writing is so much harder now everyone knows who I am. Plus I’m sick of my husband moaning I’m always on my phone since I’ve been blogging! I’ve had a break of late and it’s been good to get perspective and I’m ready to go again. Just need some inspiration now!! Good luck to you.

  2. January 11, 2017 / 9:01 pm

    Oh man, I have crises of confidence ALL THE TIME. I sometimes get overwhelmed by the amount of other parenting bloggers out there and fear that I have nothing to add to the conversation, so I just don’t say anything. Or I edit myself because I know my family will be reading. I think it’s impossible to ignore the fact that you have readers (hopefully!) and that they’ll have opinions about what you write. All you can really do is write honestly and openly in a way that you feel comfortable with. There will always be haters, but screw them. This is YOUR space.

  3. January 12, 2017 / 7:59 am

    This resonates big time! I often suffer from writers block, however, if I have a topic and can get the first sentence or paragraph on the page then the rest will usually flow. #ablogginggoodtime

  4. January 12, 2017 / 2:53 pm

    Totally can relate to this!!!! I go in cycles and find myself “editing” myself because I thing XYZ Blogger will think this is not great. Like you, I have to take a minute and step back and try to come back to writing without reserve. It’s how I got them to enjoy my reading in the first place. Why can I never remember this when I’m in that dark hole?? GREAT POST!! #ablogginggoodtime

  5. January 12, 2017 / 3:15 pm

    This is so true. I had a break over Christmas and it did me the world of good too. The writers blog was just kicking in and I knew I needed time to relax and get out of my blogging head. It’s hard to ignore that audience, I also don’t buy into the whole ‘write like no one is watching’. I have many posts I would like to write but they would achieve nothing and cause a lot of issues in the long run.

  6. January 14, 2017 / 9:43 am

    Read this the other day and it really stuck. Everyone anyone I know signs up to my blog is then wonder what they’ll think about xyz. That’s probably why I haven’t told everyone I know yet. I’m only two years young blogging so plenty of time!!!

  7. January 14, 2017 / 3:05 pm

    I think this is the main reason I have decided to remain anonymous and to avoid the niggles that come with knowing family and friends will be reading my words and maybe judging me or even my family. My blog is all about lifting the lid on parenting teens and as with every age it has its highs and lows but I decided early on I wasn’t going to sugar coat it and as such some pieces are personal and I don’t want my teens to worry that people they know are judging them. How long it will last is of course another question. Also I tend to write when I want to – if I don’t have anything to say then I don’t – I know this goes against all the best advice but it works for me. #ablogginggoodtime

  8. January 15, 2017 / 3:23 pm

    Oh my goodness I have had these thoughts in my mind recently. From my mum and I not seeing eye to eye on what we think about dogs to should our homes be showroom standard? #ablogginggoodtime

  9. January 16, 2017 / 7:47 am

    I make a living writing, and i don’t think i’m very good at it at all. Case in point, i can’t be arsed to capitalise any of these i’s. Even though it took longer to write that i can’t be arsed than it would have done to do it in the first place.

    But, i can’t say i have the problem of worrying what others think. I’m not a people pleaser! I honestly probably have 5 good friends, and they know what i’m like. Then i’m not bothered about others.

    I do worry someone might one day comment that one of my recipes was awful, or that they tried something and it didn’t work. But not that much!
    #marvmondays

  10. January 16, 2017 / 8:05 am

    Oh you are not alone lovely – that feeling of knowing who your readers are can sometimes really hinder a post. Funnily enough I wrote a post this weekend about would we write differently if we wrote anonymously – i know I would for sure! Glad the break did you good. Oh and why don’t you try write a screen play? Would be great fun to write something a little different! Happy writing lovely #MarvMondays

    • tammymum
      January 16, 2017 / 8:08 am

      Haha Yes I would absolutely write differently if I was anonymous, annoyingly! And yes perhaps I should give it a go eh… thank you for your comment lovey x

  11. January 16, 2017 / 12:26 pm

    I love this. I often think the same way and it has held me back quite a bit. But it is true that you can’t please everyone.

    • January 16, 2017 / 12:27 pm

      Oh I forgot to say that I found you on #MarvMondays :)

  12. January 16, 2017 / 3:25 pm

    Great post. I can totally relate. I especially hate those niggles caused by the worry of offending someone. I feel like I’m not being true to myself or my blog by not committing something to ‘paper’ but I don’t want family to take something the wrong way. *Sigh* Glad you have got through your crisis now though and are back to sharing your awesome posts with us all! #MarvMondays

  13. January 16, 2017 / 5:52 pm

    I totally get this – I think many bloggers do. Thanks for sharing it. #marvmondays

  14. January 16, 2017 / 8:23 pm

    This is me! I loved writing at school and then became a lawyer which I still am technically (although not employed currently), then a mother, and now a blogger. I love blogging but I constantly think, ‘what’s the point of me?’, ‘why am I bothering?’. Sadly, you can’t please all the people all of the time. Journalists who write columns often do it with p*ssing people off in mind, so sometimes I think, ‘well, maybe my Mum didn’t like it but it’s not as if I’m Jeremy Clarkson’. #MarvMondays

  15. January 17, 2017 / 3:15 pm

    Hi, great post. I always get bloggers block! So much so that I hardly ever blog on my website now. I certainly lack the confidence to post but maybe it’s time for me to get over it? I hope so! Amy x

  16. January 17, 2017 / 3:54 pm

    I totally get this and it’s definitely held me back at times. I published a post today, a very raw and honest post. One I was nervous to publish, but knew I had to for me. X #marvmondays

  17. January 18, 2017 / 11:59 am

    I decided when I started work that I would be open about my blog. So most people I speak to know I do it and one has even added me on Instagram which means she will now see my pimping out my posts. Then last night it dawned on me – she will see what I wrote about my colleagues. Its all good things, but still… i realised they can see what I do. They can see what I’m trying to achieve in life and I also panicked to sensor what I wrote.

    But I too decided – no. I’ll continue doing what I’m doing. I’m doing this for me and for my family and I love writing so if they dont like it tough. As long as I dont slate them (which I would never do anyway) then ill be fine!

    PS why are you online? go off to your wonderful Bluestone holiday and enjoy yourself!!! haha (i laugh but im super jealous) #marvmondays

  18. January 18, 2017 / 9:35 pm

    To answer your question, yes I’ve had a major case of lost blog mojo twice at least (and seeing as you asked I wrote about it in My Turn to Struggle With This :) ). It’s bound to happen. You’re not a machine. But hey you came through it and here you are! Happy New Year. Hope you’re well. #abogginggoodtime

    • tammymum
      January 18, 2017 / 9:37 pm

      I do believe I have read that post, and recall your struggle post award. It’s a fickle thing at times eh. You’re right we’re. It machine and it passes so here’s to that. Thanks lovey happy new year to you too xx

  19. January 24, 2017 / 5:59 pm

    Gosh, I often struggle with my blog. I love it and I love writing too. But I also fear that my blog is boring or that people think I am smug and self absorbed just by having a blog. When I feel like this I always take a step back, even if it is just for a day. My blog has been going for almost five years now and during that time I have often taken a break. Sometimes for a few months. It is at those times that I remind myself that I don’t need my blog. And that my blog is not my boss. I write because I want to. And I write as a form of therapy. That is what makes me happy and is why and when I love blogging the most. Hugs Lucy xxxx Popping over, very belatedly due to a sick family, from #MarvMondays xxxx