Of late, there has been a fair bit of ‘blogger bashing’ in the media. I get it, it is for a large part of the population, OK the Daily Mail audience, an unknown quantity. For many it seems like a bunch of mums, or ‘wannabe’ teens pissing about on their laptops over indulging – whatever, you simply don’t know and that is fine. Until you know, and I mean really know, what is involved in blogging and what is really happening in the lives of these people, aside from what they decide they want you to see you cannot really make a fair or accurate judgement anyway and your snide comments will simply brush off the back of a blogger as though they never happened.
However it has got me thinking about ‘success’ in a broader sense. See some of the comments I am referring to above are those criticising rather successful blogging mums, for sharing beautiful images of their stylish homes and designers kitchens we’d all love. They shame them for trying to stimulate their children with crafts and days out (god forbid) and fame them as ‘showing off” and ‘bragging’ about things they have or for making others ‘feel bad’ with unattainable expectations of parenthood.
The problem with this line of attack however is that yes we see snaps of a beautiful home that clearly had to be paid for somehow but what we don’t know is how it got there. We don’t know (unless we are shown) the hardwork and sacrifice that that family has been through to be able to achieve a home like that. We don’t see the hours spent at the office, the nights where mum or dad (or both) don’t make it home in time to say goodnight to their kids. The months or years spent foraging spare change to build a nest egg to make these dreams a reality. I wonder, how dare someone who knows absolutely nothing about a situation make a person feel bad and shame them for improving their home, their life, their children’s lives and choosing to share it with others.
My point goes deeper than this, it is not just on the blogging world. It seems that people are there for you and supporting your dreams and ambitions whilst you reach for them, for the most part – I know Mr Tammy would disagree. They are in your corner wanting you to succeed and do well, after all everyone loves and underdog. When you do, when all those early mornings and late nights, those 15 hour days 7 days a week start to come into fruition you better be careful how you celebrate it.
We live in a world where we share everything on social media, Facebook is the platform we seem unable to resist – new car? It’s on Facebook. Going on holiday? We know, Facebook told me where you are going. Eating out tonight? Yep we know! I can honestly say it does not bother me. Perhaps I am just nosey but I will happily look at someones holiday snaps, see their latest extravagant (or not) purchases or read about their Friday night in front of the telly with a bottle prosecco.
That is just me. Evidently.
There are plenty of people who don’t wish to see this or if they do will judge you for it. Woe betide you for sharing with the world, and when I say world, your Facebook account is usually selected friends and family you have chosen to allow access to your posts and pictures of you indulging or enjoying the fruits of success.
Of course it goes beyond Facebook and there are those who simply talk about things they have achieved, blog about it or spend their hard earned cash and people can’t help but notice. Yet it is at this point where those people cheering you on, in your corner, seem to fade away. I am not saying they are not happy for you, as I am sure many are, but there are those who, to my mind, want it to be them. Want to be the one supping Dom Perignon, running their own online brand to fit in around family life 0r buying a new pair Laboutins. I get that, we all want that, hell I would love some Laboutins and for tammymum.com to afford me chance to buy them. We all have aspirations and dreams.
What really irks me however is those who judge, belittle and criticise those who have worked bloody hard to realise an aspiration or dream and share that success in any way they choose how. You don’t get something from nothing. My Grandad always tried to teach me that if you want something you have to earn it, nobody will do it for you, and nobody should. He was right.
Working hard is just that, its hard. It’s long days and often nights, it is forgoing the Saturday morning football with your mates, bank holiday in the pub garden, that indulgent weekend away or shopping trip to save the pennies or get some work finished. It is days away from your family, sometimes it is missing milestones or bed times. It is quite often, blood, sweat and tears – making sacrifices and putting in the hours when you would rather be doing anything else.
Should there come a point when that hard work pays off, and it will, when you are able to take that holiday you’ve saved for, style your dream home, buy that new car or drink expensive champagne then you should and should enjoy it. If you want to share a picture with the world then why they hell not? You have earned it and you deserve it. People are seeing a second of a damn hard journey that took, days, months if not years. A journey that you took and you should not be made to feel bad about celebrating something you have worked damn bloody hard to achieve.
**climbs back down off pedestal now….