Is That Dom Perignon?

Is That Dom Perignon?

Of late, there has been a fair bit of ‘blogger bashing’ in the media. I get it, it is for a large part of the population, OK the Daily Mail audience, an unknown quantity. For many it seems like a bunch of mums, or ‘wannabe’ teens pissing about on their laptops over indulging – whatever, you simply don’t know and that is fine. Until you know, and I mean really know, what is involved in blogging and what is really happening in the lives of these people, aside from what they decide they want you to see you cannot really make a fair or accurate judgement anyway and your snide comments will simply brush off the back of a blogger as though they never happened.

However it has got me thinking about ‘success’ in a broader sense. See some of the comments I am referring to above are those criticising rather successful blogging mums, for sharing beautiful images of their stylish homes and designers kitchens we’d all love. They shame them for trying to stimulate their children with crafts and days out  (god forbid)  and fame them as ‘showing off” and ‘bragging’ about things they have or for making others ‘feel bad’ with unattainable expectations of parenthood.

The problem with this line of attack however is that yes we see snaps of a beautiful home that clearly had to be paid for somehow but what we don’t know is how it got there. We don’t know (unless we are shown) the hardwork and sacrifice that that family has been through to be able to achieve a home like that. We don’t see the hours spent at the office, the nights where mum or dad (or both) don’t make it home in time to say goodnight to their kids. The months or years spent foraging spare change to build a nest egg to make these dreams a reality. I wonder, how dare someone who knows absolutely nothing about a situation make a person feel bad and shame them for improving their home,  their life, their children’s lives and choosing to share it with others.

blogger success

My point goes deeper than this, it is not just on the blogging world. It seems that people are there for you and supporting your dreams and ambitions whilst you reach for them, for the most part – I know Mr Tammy would disagree. They are in your corner wanting you to succeed and do well, after all everyone loves and underdog. When you do, when all those early mornings and late nights, those 15 hour days 7 days a week start to come into fruition you better be careful how you celebrate it.

We live in a world where we share everything on social media, Facebook is the platform we seem unable to resist – new car? It’s on Facebook. Going on holiday? We know, Facebook told me where you are going. Eating out tonight? Yep we know! I can honestly say it does not bother me. Perhaps I am just nosey but I will happily look at someones holiday snaps, see their latest extravagant (or not) purchases or read about their Friday night in front of the telly with a bottle prosecco.

That is just me.  Evidently.

There are plenty of people who don’t wish to see this or if they do will judge you for it. Woe betide you for sharing with the world, and when I say world, your Facebook account is usually selected friends and family you have chosen to allow access to your posts and pictures of you indulging or enjoying the fruits of success.

Of course it goes beyond Facebook and there are those who simply talk about things they have achieved, blog about it or spend their hard earned cash and people can’t help but notice. Yet it is at this point where those people cheering you on, in your corner, seem to fade away. I am not saying they are not happy for you, as I am sure many are, but there are those who, to my mind, want it to be them. Want to be the one supping Dom Perignon, running their own online brand to fit in around family life 0r buying a new pair Laboutins. I get that, we all want that, hell I would love some Laboutins and for tammymum.com to afford me chance to buy them. We all have aspirations and dreams.

dom perignon
What really irks me however is those who judge, belittle and criticise those who have worked bloody hard to realise an aspiration or dream and share that success in any way they choose how. You don’t get something from nothing. My Grandad always tried to teach me that if you want something you have to earn it, nobody will do it for you, and nobody should. He was right.

Working hard is just that, its hard. It’s long days and often nights, it is forgoing the Saturday morning football with your mates, bank holiday in the pub garden, that indulgent weekend away or shopping trip to save the pennies or get some work finished. It is days away from your family, sometimes it is missing milestones or bed times. It is quite often, blood, sweat and tears – making sacrifices and putting in the hours when you would rather be doing anything else.

Should there come a point when that hard work pays off, and it will, when you are able to take that holiday you’ve saved for, style your dream home, buy that new car or drink expensive champagne then you should and should enjoy it. If you want to share a picture with the world then why they hell not? You have earned it and you deserve it. People are seeing a second of a damn hard journey that took, days, months if not years. A journey that you took and you should not be made to feel bad about celebrating something you have worked damn bloody hard to achieve.

**climbs back down off pedestal now….

My Petit Canard
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39 Comments

  1. November 8, 2016 / 6:19 pm

    You are so right – people work hard and deserve to enjoy and celebrate their successes or results of their hard work however they choose. Unfortunately social media does seem to bring out a jealous or petty streak in some people and while hiding behind their computer screen they find it easier to criticise… obviously B and his family have their own business but (in the main) people tend to be quite positive, but we always get the odd comments ‘away again?!’ – you do just ignore it. Hope you feel better for getting it off your chest!

  2. November 8, 2016 / 6:33 pm

    I couldn’t agree with this more! I’ve worked for two years on my blog now and I was criticised recently by someone because I was in a BBC news article. It was only about 3 lines anyway…!

    I went to defend myself and then thought why bother?! They don’t know the work I have put in! I doubt they’d care.

    When I see someone getting something I aspire to have myself I think bloody good job! 😊

    Nothing wrong with being happy for others and being grateful for your lot at the same time!

  3. November 8, 2016 / 7:01 pm

    Hear hear. I think it’s a shame that people can’t celebrate another’s success rather than bringing them down or going behind their back to usurp them in some way. You drink the dom and when I can I’ll be bloody joining you!+

    Xx

  4. November 8, 2016 / 8:30 pm

    Sadly some people are only about he underdog because they like to feel they are better and when suddenly yiur success pays off… guess what? They are the ones who are jealous as they were never really behind you in the first place. They are not friends; they are not supportive; they are selfish and they want to be gifted things on a plate. We are sadly not only in the social media age… we are also in the I want what they have and therefore I should have it now age. The number of children I have taught that think they shouldnt have to work hard for something is horrifying! These people should are the ones buying celebrity mags they just can’t cope when ‘real’ people have success too! Will also step down from soap box!!

  5. November 8, 2016 / 8:46 pm

    I totally agree. If people are proud of their success and want to show it off, fine. It’s up to you how you react to it. You can say, “Good for them” and move on, or you can just ignore it. What you CAN’T do is attack them on social media because you’re jealous, because, like you said, you have no idea what it took for them to get there.

  6. November 9, 2016 / 5:11 am

    Absolutely… screw the bad mouthers. Stand proud and enjoy yourself Dom Perignon… it’s delicious after all! 😉 #FamilyFun

  7. November 9, 2016 / 6:00 am

    I LOVE LOVE this! Well done! I have often said that on my Insta feed I post pretty pics of my life because I like looking back on them, and guess what those moments are real! But i don’t pretend that that is my entire life, it is just a place for me to keep my pretty pics and I LOVE looking at other peoples pretty pics too, I love seeing glimpses into their lives, but I don’t assume their whole life is pretty. No matter how beautiful home or cold or car may be everyone has struggles and pain, everyone hurts at times. I feel like people have to put others down just because they think it makes them happier to do so, but it doesn’t. We should be happy for others and grateful for what we have. Yes I had a $100 bottle of Champagne on the weekend it was my 2 year blogging anniversary and my dad turned 70 and so my dad, mum, hubby, sister, brother and I celebrated! But do I do that every weekend NO WAY. Life is messy and crazy, it is beautiful, fun and awesome and I will continue to be honest about that whilst sharing pretty pics! #Familyfun

  8. November 9, 2016 / 6:56 am

    Couldnt agree more. It drives me mad when people comment with things like you’re so ‘lucky’ no We’ve worked crazy hard and missed out on lots to get where we are. But we wouldn’t change it we now have a wee place of our own and our boy and that’s all we need! X #familyfun

  9. November 9, 2016 / 10:23 am

    I didn’t realise that there was such a movement of people criticising people for sharing their achievements and happy things. That is a shame. Of course you should be able to share what you’re proud of without the implication of bragging or that you’re making other people feel bad. That’s just jealousy. We should support and applaud each other when we have good things happen, whether through hard work or even just good luck. #familyfun

  10. November 9, 2016 / 1:41 pm

    Great writing. The haters are going to hate !! We cant win . I will carry on posting the good & bad bits of my family life and sod anyone else #familyfun

  11. November 9, 2016 / 1:57 pm

    mic drop.

    You know what the underdog gets you…Donald fucking TRUMP.

    Jessus.

  12. November 9, 2016 / 3:16 pm

    Where have I been hiding. I seem to have missed this blogger bashing! You will always get jealousy and often it is from people who can’t be bothered to get off their own backsides and try something different or think you get it all for nothing. Nobody gets given stuff, we all work for it!

    • November 10, 2016 / 4:20 pm

      Popping back to say Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

  13. November 9, 2016 / 6:42 pm

    Hell yea! Well said, if people want to celebrate their achievements then others should just let them. Those who make judgemental comments are just jealous xx #familyfun

  14. November 9, 2016 / 7:41 pm

    It’s why for a high proportion of my adult life I’ve not shared on Facebook! The online world is very different to my offline world! No one wants to read about my 5 load of washing for the day do they! Sod them they will never be happy 😀

  15. November 9, 2016 / 7:49 pm

    I can’t say I’ve ever once thought that I’m showing off on my blog. I don’t ever think “omg i’m a genius, look what i can make out of toilet roll tubes. I must be praised for this!!” it’s more, “that was a really fun hour, maybe other mums might like to try it” or “i’ll share that recipe, someone else might want a go”

    I’ve never come across a show of mummy blogger! #familyfun

  16. November 9, 2016 / 8:15 pm

    So true! There is a very important distinction between bragging and sharing one’s life in an honest fashion. One should never apologize for one’s success.

    The post that I attached today may seem to contradict this, but in case my intention is unclear, I’d like to clarify:

    I was alluding to misplaced priorities. Working at a detestable job not because the extra money is important to support the family, but to give a child a glitzy big home and yard because the child NEEDS it. My point was to stress what I personally believe is more special to children: time with family members doing everyday simple things – together.

    I have come to understand that while most readers understood my intention right off the bat, that others may have thought that I was bad-mouthing ambitious parents in the workforce – which is not at all the case!

    Enough of my rambling! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for providing a place for others to share theirs. :-) #familyfun

    • tammymum
      November 9, 2016 / 8:30 pm

      Ah thank you for this. I will go and read your post shortly but I am sure I will understand the point and that you will have conveyed it perfectly :). For what it’s worth I agree family time doing things together, being together is the most important thing to a child and something no amount of money or success can buy xx

  17. November 9, 2016 / 9:19 pm

    Sadly it’s jealousy and it happens everywhere and not just in blogging – it’s in the school playground, it’s in the workplace, it’s in a bar with strangers and what is so awful is that it’s women. men don’t seem to to have the same attitude. Women seem to berate other women who do well or look good. It’s always worth remembering that it’s them that have the issue and it’s them that aren’t as happy sadly. There is always someone that has more than you but that doesn’t mean they are happier. Oh I could go on and on but I’ll be going round in circles! Well said though. Bubbles darling?! #Familyfun

  18. November 9, 2016 / 11:24 pm

    Well said. Sadly, social media does seem to bring out the worst in people.
    #familyfun

  19. November 10, 2016 / 12:59 pm

    I love this <3 This is so super true… we all fall victim of being a tad jealous or envious of others achievements but they worked bloody hard to get where they are, especially in the blogging world! Its so hard and takes up so much time to become successful that we should celebrate those that have managed tp make it their career or landed amazing brand amasaddorships etc… we can all get there with hard work and determination! It should inspire you to do the same not make you jealous <3

  20. November 10, 2016 / 3:12 pm

    *Applause* You’re quite right. What people post and share is their own business. If someone has worked hard and accomplished something then they should be able to share it. Of course, all things aren’t equal. Someone can work all the hours of the day just to make ends meet. But that isn’t the fault of the person who has worked the same and got more for it. Sadly that’s just the nature of the world and the only the super-richies / government are really empowered to change that sort of thing.

    I think that if you don’t like what you’re seeing then you just don’t look at it. Attacking the person posting it isn’t the right solution.

    #FamilyFun & #CoolMumClub

  21. November 10, 2016 / 7:52 pm

    Fantastic post and I couldn’t agree more. In fact my ‘words to live by’ post this week is all about not judging people. It seems to have become so common place these days to judge everyone for every little thing and I fear for the kind of society our children are going to have to contend with as they get older. Why can’t we all just be happy for one another? The world would certainly be a far better place x
    #FamilyFun

  22. November 10, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    Us Brits certainly have a way of building people up then knocking them down. It’s probably part of the reason I prefer to stay anonymous – I know being in the public eye can come with both positives and negatives which I choose not to link directly to my real identity. Sad isn’t it?
    You’ve certainly made me think though, that I too am probably guilty of judging, as well as being judged. I’ve taken your words on board. I think we probably all do it from time to time, but with age comes wisdom and I certainly feel as I approach my forties I feel less hung up with what others are doing (I don’t even have a facebook account, and rarely check my instagram personal account).
    Interesting reading…thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

  23. November 10, 2016 / 9:19 pm

    I love this and there has been a spate of it lately, especially amongst some blogging groups I’m a part of. I prefer to concentrate on my own blog and keep my head down! #ablogginggoodtime

  24. November 11, 2016 / 3:58 am

    Well said! No need to apologize for your success, embrace it!!! Forget the haters – who needs them?!
    #ablogginggoodtime

  25. November 11, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    Ahhh the old green eyed monster. I’ve never understood why people can’t just be happy for other people. If somebody is jealous of what someone else has achieved it’s really sad. They should focus on achieving their own dreams instead of what someone else is doing..
    #familyfun

  26. November 11, 2016 / 7:38 pm

    I don’t read the Daily Fail (I’ve heard some call it that) but I do love to read blogs. Belittling or criticising is just wrong. #FamilyFun

  27. November 12, 2016 / 2:08 pm

    Stay on the pedestal, for you deserve an award! So well said! You know, I teach my kids a phrase which I believe came from Winnie the Pooh – “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. I think a few adults would do well to learn this as well. Why has it become popular to knock people’s hard work and achievements instead of being pleased and congratulating them? At least I don’t see that much in the blogging world, where the whole community realise and appreciate how hard it is to do. #FamilyFun

  28. November 12, 2016 / 3:57 pm

    You are so right. No one has the right to judge and belittle anyone based on what they choose to share with others and how well they are doing. Good for them. Enjoy the fruit of your hard work and be proud. People need to mind their own business a little more and if they don’t want to see others happiness them just don’t. Move on. No need to be nasty x #familyfun

  29. November 13, 2016 / 7:00 am

    Unfortunately some people are just jealous of others and for some reason fail to accept it’s usually down to hard bloody work. I’ve not really seen any blogger bashing but have heard of people being jealous/fed up of things they’ve seen online. I always say what’s online is only a tiny proportion of someone’s life, usually just the good bits, so we shouldn’t get hung up on it.#FamilyFun

  30. November 13, 2016 / 5:23 pm

    Jealousy is poisonous and destructive. We all have aspirations and if we have worked hard for something it is our right to enjoy it but there will always be those who feel it is their right to judge. Ignoring them is the best policy. #ablogginggoodtime

  31. November 14, 2016 / 2:55 pm

    Love this! Live and let live. People should be able to do what they want, post what they want, celebrate successes and not fear judgement. Feck the begrudgers! #MarvMondays #bigpinklink

  32. November 14, 2016 / 3:35 pm

    The Daily Mail always gets on its high horse with a load of inaccuracies. Everyone deserves to be rewarded for their hard work whether thats in a high flying job or as a blogger! I will never make a success from my blogging as i just dont have enough time to throw into my blogging! Thanks for sharing for #marvmondays

  33. November 14, 2016 / 8:08 pm

    I completely agree with you! If you don’t work hard you won’t achieve anything. It also depends what your goals are. People do indeed love an underdog, when you are no longer that underdog the dynamic can change and plenty will suddenly disappear from your life as quickly as they appeared. If you manage to afford a bottle of champagne or new Louboutins you should feel able to shout it from the rooftops without worrying about a jealousy fueled backlash.
    #BigPinkLink

  34. November 15, 2016 / 6:54 am

    Well said! I think Americans are much better at this then Brits. Brits tend to view displays of wealth as vulgar whereas they seem to celebrate it it America more. I personally love seeing people’s gorgeous homes, craft activities & holidays. It gives me goals to aspire to and inspiration! Thanks for partying! #bigpinklink

  35. November 16, 2016 / 4:26 pm

    I couldn’t say it better!
    There’s always too much judgement about successful people but nobody thinks about all the hard work behind their success! I agree with your grandpa, if you want something you have to earn it and people usually work really hard to get it!
    #familyfun (sorry for the late comment!) :)

  36. November 16, 2016 / 5:55 pm

    I always think it’s the person doing the moaning’s problem – not the person doing the posting! #ablogginggoodtime