The night out out – the reality

The night out out – the reality

I love a night out, or at least I did, pre kids. Now I am not going to lie it kind of scares me a bit, the thought of going to bed late, getting up early, with a potential hangover, with the baby toddler combi – oooooh no thank you very much.

Mr Tammy and I tend to find out ‘nights out’ have become ‘afternoons off’. Our very good to us grandparents are no strangers to child minding for a few hours whilst we head off into the sun (beer garden) and have a few hours out over a nice lunch and bottle of something bubbly. To be back home in time for bath and bed time and early night after 20 gallons of water. Rocking’ huh, but I ain’t complainin’.

That being said I found myself wanting, daring, to try a night out out. I have done this once post kids and I ended up going to bed at 6am. Never again, or so I thought. I wanted, again or so I thought, to go out after dark, when normal (childless) people go out, go to a bar when its busy – not just frequented by two child free parents who will literally take whatever time they are given. So as its my birthday in the next few days and good old Nanny Pat is visiting we thought we’d try it, we’d go out out.

You may have seen my excitement – it was on instagram…

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And on Facebook…

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So anyway we didn’t push the boat out and go into Brum or anything like that, just frequented a few local bars. We talked the talk on the way into town about going to a club, getting in at silly o’clock, making a night of it and all that. What went down however was very different.

First of all apparently I have forgotten how to dress for a night out. I had my white skinny jeans, heels and pale pink top combo going on. Heels – they make any outfit fancy right? WRONG. Saturday nights are for dresses, shorts, legs and swanky tops. I was not in the beer garden anymore. I also was carrying a food baby from the Chinese we lined our stomachs with an hour earlier. The ladies out and about looked fab I felt as though I got it all wrong and didn’t fit.

Secondly – you don’t go out until at least 10pm. I knew this, this was me, many many moons ago. Not 7.30 like us oldies. Our second pit stop was a new swanky and stylish bar, but it wasn’t busy. It was circa 10.30 by time we got there and there were a few people filtering in. We knew come 1am it would probably be thriving and great place to be but we were two bottles of bubbles down and starting to remember what we faced the next morning, 1am seemed very far away. So we upped sticks by about 11.30 and thought we’d try the club.


We got talking to someone outside the bar and we mentioned where we might be heading. You see this place is a place of two halves, the younger persons scene upstairs and the more mature crowd downstairs obviously named Vinyl, yeah we get it thanks. When I say younger person room however a woman I was speaking to Friday said she doesn’t go there anymore because she feels too old and its full of kids, ‘now that she’s twenty’. Fucking twenty – alright grandma let me hand you a blanket. Anyway I digress, back to the lovely lady we were talking to outside the bar, to whom Mr Tammy said we were going to Vinly she looked at me confused and then the penny dropped – ooooh you mean Kuda. She was of course referring to the young persons room because she was a young person who didn’t even know about the oldie room even though she is there every sodding week. Cheers. I have never felt so out of the loop, and old.

Anyway off we went to Vinyl, we got half way there when Mr Tammy looked at me and said, ‘is this really a good idea? Do you really want to get in at stupid o’clock and look after the babies all day feeling shit, shall we just go in there (a pub) and have a quick drink and go’.

I stared at him blankly.

It was 11.45pm.

‘Yeah alright then, my feet hurt anyway’.

We necked a quick G&T flagged a taxi and were home for just after 12. I scoffed a bag of monster much downed a pint of squash and got myself to bed. You may call me Cinders. Or mum.

So we failed, epically, at being cool and young and having a night out out, but thank god we did because this still happened the next morning….

How about you? Have you managed a night out out? Or a you in bed by 10 kinda person?


This Mum's Life
My Petit Canard
Diary of an imperfect mum


  1. September 12, 2016 / 8:39 am

    Great post. We’ve had very few late evenings out for the same reason. The prospect of the 6am wake up call and being chief entertainer for the next 13 hours doesn’t really mix with late nights. We’re fortunate that my mum does stay with us periodically so we do go for meals out then, rather than the usual mid afternoon slot when we’re the only people in the place. We keep promising ourselves a boozy night out when the chance next arrives and we’ll probably take it, and still probably be in bed by midnight! #marvmondays

  2. September 12, 2016 / 6:05 pm

    This did make me chuckle lovely! I don’t think I could handle a club these days although maybe that’s because our town doesn’t have a single decent club. I am impressed you even considered it! I wouldn’t worry about what people wear I feel like it changes weekly. Hope you enjoyed yourself anyway my love. #bigpinklink

  3. September 13, 2016 / 6:25 am

    haha, I can’t do nights out anymore! You did very well coming back after 12pm. If we are daring enough to go out, we are home by 11pm! The other day we were out in a club /pub and it was so loud we could not hear each other! WE stayed like 40 minutes and then I begged for a taxi home LOL #Chucklemums

  4. September 13, 2016 / 8:00 am

    Like you say, afternoons off just end up so much more enjoyable in the long run… I don’t think I even know the name of a club for oldies like me, let alone one I am too crusty to be allowe into. #Chucklemums

  5. September 13, 2016 / 12:42 pm

    I still go out…I just don’t get drunk anymore! Not the way I used to anyway, it’s just not worth the pain the next day! Thanks for linking lovely xx #chucklemums

  6. September 13, 2016 / 1:30 pm

    This is so so true! I could high five you through the computer – this was me literally 3 weeks ago – home by 12 (feeling like it was actually 5am!) kids change everything. As for what to wear when you go out – it felt like everyone was underage and trying to look like super models. Depressing or what?! stay home and watch x factor lol #bigpinklink

  7. September 13, 2016 / 4:58 pm

    mom hangovers are the worst…yet I still occasionally tie one on with the ladies.

    The monkey never learns I suppose…


  8. September 13, 2016 / 6:37 pm

    Well done for staying out until 12! Seriously – that’s pretty epic for parents of young toddlers. Adrian and I went out for our first date night since the Popple was born last night (we’ve been out during the day, but never at night). We had dinner with a bottle of wine and a cocktail and were home by 9:30. Wild times, but that’s more our speed these days. #chucklemums

  9. September 14, 2016 / 9:29 am

    Sounds like you made the right call coming home at midnight! I rarely have a night out these days. When i do I’m the epitome of responsibility naturally šŸ˜‚ #chucklemums

    • tammymum
      September 14, 2016 / 9:40 am

      Hahaha! I get that, it’s all the excitement of being OUT of the house! X

  10. September 14, 2016 / 9:52 am

    ha ha love it and yes i no longer know how to dress. a night out seems a better idea than reality #bloggerclubuk

  11. September 14, 2016 / 12:58 pm

    Haha, it just can’t be done! We can no longer go out. Also, what is it about now not going out until after 10pm? That is my bedtime people!!

  12. September 14, 2016 / 1:08 pm

    Our night outs are usually a trip to the cinema, my partner and I don’t drink, have never step foot in a club and just the hole going out thing is a bit beyond me. I didn’t even do it when I was younger! I feel well old now! A night out with good food and good company is ideal for me, and in bed by 11 at the latest after a pint of water and a paracetamol just in case haha! #bloggerclubuk

  13. September 14, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    Just lately I have found myself able to go out AND have a lie-in the next day…since my husband and I split up and he has the kids every other weekend! I wouldn’t recommend it as a means to a social life, but it is a silver lining! Mind you, I don’t actually go for big nights out that often, I always feel ancient and would secretly prefer a night in in my pyjamas…

  14. September 14, 2016 / 9:34 pm

    Loved this! I haven’t attempted (nor even thought about) a night out since baby no 2 and only managed one after baby no 1- which I immediately regretted the next morning. I’m all for brunches, lunches and afternoon teas now, luckily my Hubby and friends feel the same about nights out :) Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

  15. September 15, 2016 / 7:58 am

    Haha!!! I’ve had a couple of nights out since baby and just get far too giddy and really regret it the next day. I think an afternoon ‘off’ is defo the new night out!!! #coolmumclub

  16. September 15, 2016 / 8:51 am

    Awesome post… I am a massive advocate of parents/mommas/couples still retaining their sense of self after bambinos break into our world… even just the small things like going to the local pub for a few drinks can really help! At least you made the effort so I wouldn’t say you failed at all <3

  17. September 15, 2016 / 10:32 am

    I do manage the odd night out but am yawning my head off by 10pm and am desperate for my bed! I’ve no idea how I used to stay out until 4am and be in work for 10am the next day! Well done for a great effort!! #ablogginggoodtime

  18. September 15, 2016 / 1:21 pm

    LOL this is me ALWAYS! Except I am so lame I don’t even make it to that hour…I secretly suspect I will turn into a pumpkin…or should I say…bumpkin! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

  19. September 15, 2016 / 2:03 pm

    Not when the kids were very little, but now that they are older, and they can get their own breakfast in the morning – ooh we’ve pushed the boat out and been out till 1am. But it’s still hard the next day! #SharingtheBlogLove

  20. September 16, 2016 / 12:39 pm

    We haven’t done an out out night either. We do usually manage to stay out past 11pm and on the occasion where we don’t have to parent until lunch time the next day we may stay out until 1am (if we can keep our eyes open of course). But I don’t think I have stepped foot in a club for over 4/5 years now!
    And seriously 20! That girl doesn’t know how young she still is!

  21. September 16, 2016 / 11:26 pm

    Well *I* think your outfit sounded fab. So there.

    Our last night out we tried to go dancing. Looked forward to it all week. We got to the new club we wanted to try a bit early and got some drinks. The DJ finally started to play some tunes, and long story short… they were AWFUL. Nothing we wanted to dance to. They went from showtunes to country to really slow jams with nothing in between. Luckily we weren’t out long enough to be up past our bedtimes, but the “evening out” was a bust!

  22. September 17, 2016 / 6:24 pm

    I don’t think we’ve done a ‘proper’ night out since having my now two year old! I don’t know how I ever managed to just start heading out around 10 – these days I’m happily tucked up in bed at 9.30 and fast asleep by 10! I’d never make it past midnight these days!

    And the post-big night hangover is just not worth it come the morning when a manic toddler is running riot and the two of you are both still trying to pretend to be asleep and hoping the other one gets up! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

  23. September 17, 2016 / 10:56 pm

    In my daughter’s first year of life all my nights out were with my uni class. I was still a 20-year-old, but with the body of a mum and the alcohol tolerance levels of a small pigeon, so I made sure I booked myself into a hotel whenever I was going out! My hen do is in November and the thought of parenting after the night out we’re planning already makes my stomach turn! Haha great post, hope you had a nice night out! #KCACOLS

  24. September 18, 2016 / 12:05 am

    So gald to see I am not the only mom who realized that late nights are not that much fun. My hubby and I do a movie and dinner night now :) Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  25. September 18, 2016 / 9:06 am

    We manage a night away at a hotel every six months or so – but we’re always in bed by 12 at the latest! #KCACOLS

  26. September 18, 2016 / 9:51 am

    I am totally over the late nights out now. I would much rather go for a drink with friends somewhere where I can actually hear what they are saying to me. I am very happy with my Saturday night in front of the telly (by which I mean laptop).

  27. September 18, 2016 / 7:46 pm

    Husband and I go out very rarely together. We always end up being stupid and do jagers in a club until 3. Then realise we’re not 18 anymore and spend the next day dying! As I’m currently 4 months pregnant this won’t be happening again for a very, very long time! Thank god! #KCACOLS

  28. September 19, 2016 / 3:07 pm

    Hehehe. šŸ˜€

    I’ve actually NEVER gone out ONCE since I moved to England. At least not in the sense we are talking about. But I’m never really been a “nights out” person though after I hit 25 I think. No particular reason it’s just happened. lol
    Not that I would say NO to a night out though but we have no child care at all in our area “nanny” lives almost 2h away so… hehe
    We do hit the cinema though once in a blue moon when we are down there. šŸ˜€ But that’s rarely after dark. :p


  29. September 20, 2016 / 6:08 am

    The all night parties here tend to be most nights with the 6 month old… so nights out are very rare as I feel so bad for anyone left to babysit. I think the hangover is just not worth it either! Well done on getting home past midnight, I think you were right to skip the club!! #KCACOLS

  30. September 20, 2016 / 7:27 pm

    My husband have only gone out once for a friends birthday since becoming parents 4 years ago! He does go with his friends every month. It amazes me that we never used to go out until 10pm, I am fast asleep now. When I do go out, I have to be home by midnight, I can’t cope otherwise. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  31. September 20, 2016 / 7:48 pm

    Oh this made me giggle, I’ve not been ‘out out’ for such a long time, I really don’t think I could handle it anymore! I’m such a lightweight these days I’d be on my knees by 9! x #KCACOLS

  32. September 20, 2016 / 8:22 pm

    I don’t know if we will ever enjoy a night out like we used to. I haven’t since before I was pregnant with my son. When we do attempt it we are home before midnight as well. After all I still have to get u with the kids in the morning #KCACOLS

  33. September 21, 2016 / 2:04 pm

    Awww well done to you for getting out!! I have not managed to get out since Dec 2014…. think imway overdue!!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  34. September 21, 2016 / 9:26 pm

    I was never a going out out type person but I’m impressed you managed a night out out after kiddiwinks! Although, have you recovered?! Looks pretty hard going! #KCACOLS

  35. September 22, 2016 / 6:49 am

    Well I don’t have kids and I struggle with staying out til midnight these days! Fun to have a night out though – they seem to get more and more rare don’t they? Hope the hangover wasn’t bad! #sharingthebloglove xx

  36. September 22, 2016 / 8:37 am

    I couldn’t think of anything worse than going out and then having to look after my son the next day, you are very brave! #sharingthebloglove

  37. September 22, 2016 / 10:46 am

    I gave up on nights out a long time ago. I probably manage it twice a year if I’m lucky – and like you I am usually home by midnight lining my stomach to avoid the awful two day hangover. Sarah #SharingTheBlogLove

  38. September 22, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    I’ve not attempted a night out since being pregnant and my daughter turns 1 next week! To be fair I’m a cosy night in or a pub lunch kind of person instead!

    Great post. I hope you survived the day ok!


    • September 22, 2016 / 3:53 pm

      I’m such an idiot I’ve used the wrong hashtag


      That’s better šŸ˜Œ! Haha.

  39. September 22, 2016 / 9:43 pm

    I feel so old now too lol I’m only 24 and got 2 boys who are 1 and 3 next month. I had my best friends hen night in July and oh jesus never ever ever again! I didn’t even wake up hungover, I was still drunk! The hangover gradually came on throughout the day and I must have been sick like 4 times (it was definitely not a nice experience!) Thankfully my o.h came to my rescue and let me sleep and he looked after the boys all day. That is definitely not something I want to repeat (not until my eldest is old enough to operate the kettle and can bring me a strong coffee the morning after haha). I can’t cope with the alcohol anymore, and to be fair I would much rather spend my money on food.. I am a serious foodie! šŸ˜€ #sharingthebloglove

  40. September 23, 2016 / 6:58 pm

    This is great, yeah mostly I’m a in bed by 10pm girl. Woohoo! Also the dressing up is an issue for me, and I’m so not used to heels any more. I find more and more it’s drinks in and friends round, though I did go to a nice Gin Bar recently šŸ˜‰ Xx

  41. September 23, 2016 / 8:43 pm

    I always feel out of place on ‘nights out’ and we rarely bother in that sense, preferring to share a bottle of wine in front off the tv. That said we do like to go away for a night in a hotel every now (preferably with a hit tub šŸ˜‰) and then where we will just eat and drink in the restaurant there or in the room then get a nice lie in and a cooked breakfast in the morning before having to go home and face the children. Children and hangovers certainly don’t mix and I always think never again … Till next time! #SharingtheBlogLove

  42. September 24, 2016 / 5:24 pm

    Last time we did this I felt the same… totally underdressed, too old and we were ready to go home just as things were starting to warm up… hahahaha. Oh dear! #sharingthebloglove

  43. September 25, 2016 / 11:21 am

    So So accurate! Although, I’ve got a night out for my birthday coming up in the next few weeks eek already worried about the following morning! #sharingthebloglove

  44. September 27, 2016 / 10:39 pm

    We all need a nanna pat ! Do you hire her out ? Im normally up with the babies, hangover or no hangover #sharingthebloglove

  45. January 29, 2017 / 6:39 am

    Great post! So true. We haven’t attempted a night out in a while as I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant with my second baby and can’t see the point if I can’t drink!
    We did attempt a night out after our first and it was a similar experience to yours, we were home by midnight and the hangover with a small child was definitely not worth it! Especially since hangovers in your thirtys last sooo much longer than in your twenties!
    Stupidly hadn’t considered the prospect of a boozy lunch/afternoon date before, sounds so much more up my street. Will give this a go when I can drink again!
    I’ve retweeted this!

    • tammymum
      January 29, 2017 / 1:21 pm

      Thank you! Yes hangovers definitely are not worth it, we have learnt the hard way lol. Yes lunch dates are absolutely the way forward – enjoy when you’re time comes. Thanks for your comment x