Readers of the blog will know that we like a holiday. It is a hobby of ours. Holidays have always been something we have and will save for and spend on. For some, its gadgets, shoes, or fine dining, us it is definitely breaks away. Even with our two year old and one year old we have battled through flights, airports and the breaks in routine to maintain our love of the getaway.
It is fair to say however that holidays are not what they once were. I have moaned about it in previous posts. Morned the loss of the relaxing break in the sun supping cocktails and lazing about all day, doing what we want when we want to. There is definitely merit in the saying holidays are now ‘the same shit different location’. Holidays are not holidays anymore. You’re little people come first. Obviously. They don’t like the beach. They don’t like to just sit. They don’t like to watch you enjoy a cocktail or a warm dinner. Their wants and needs don’t stop just because we decide we want a break.Don’t get me wrong, its not all bad. I have been lucky enough to enjoy some fabulous holidays with my family and revel in watching my children enjoy themselves and seeing and exploring new things and meeting new people. I also know as my children get older holidays will start to resemble just that.
Currently though we are midst toddler/baby takeover and it feels a long way off. I know Mr Tammy desperately mourns the loss of the adult holiday and it has got me thinking about the possibility of an child free holiday. This is of course in that ideal world where we would have the option to take a child free holiday.
I will start by saying whatever your opinion, then it is respected. Whether you do agree with going on holiday without your children or not that is your choice.
So I was thinking how amazing it would be to have a few days in the sun without the constant demand of parenthood. Without having dedicate your every waking (and sometimes sleeping) minute to ensuring your little ones are happy, fed, entertained, protected from the sun, have clean nappies. Instead, to get up at a time of your choosing. Laze around in the day, shower without an audience, eat when you want, where you want and without being covered in the food you have desperately been trying to get down your toddler. To actually sit for more than just nap time, to go to the beach and to walk around without a buggy or slow moving toddler who refuses to go in said buggy. To do what you want when you want without feeling guilty.Yet that is the problem isn’t it. If you were to embark on a mini break without your little ones you most likely would feel guilty. I feel guilty needing a day to myself at home, let alone leaving them to swan off for some self indulgent me time, to enjoy myself without them.
It also bothers me that a whole day of my children’s life would go by without me seeing them. As I write this I know that sounds a little pathetic but I can’t help but be bothered by it. I have been with my children everyday of their lives and to not be with them for a few continuous days makes me feel anxious.
What’s more is they don’t know where we are or that we are coming back. My children are one and two so they do not have concept of time. They will without doubt miss us and they cannot understand that at such a young age. FaceTime only goes so far. It goes without saying I would miss them too. In fact I don’t think there are words that could do justice to the ache of not seeing them.What if something were to happen to them whilst I wasn’t there? It does not bare thinking about. The agonising wait to get to them would be horrendous.
The pull of a child free few days is strong, make no mistake. I long for that time. At least I think I do. The thought of actually boarding a flight and being in a different country scares the bejeezus out of me. The reality of actually embarking on said holiday fills me with fear. So much so I don’t know if I could do it.
So over to you. What would you do? Do I need to put my big girl pants on and get over myself? After all my kids are so young they won’t even remember we ever went. Should I just go forth and holiday and be enjoy it guilt free, or at least as guilt free as possible? Or is that niggling feeling of trepidation telling me all I need to know. Is that worry my answer? As always I don’t know. So I’m looking to you – what would you do?