Did the last 5 years really happen?

Did the last 5 years really happen?

Growing up I had an amazing bunch of friends. There was a lot of us all in but there were 5 of us who were ‘besties’. No matter what other friendship groups we had or what life paths we took the 5 of us remained as a 5. We are still are, to me they are my sisters. We all lead very different lives now, we are mostly in different cities, (or countries) doing different things, some are married, some have babies, one is even soon to have the title of DR. Thanks to the medium of Facebook and the What’s App group chat we all speak daily and keep up with each others life. Unfortunately we do not see each other anywhere near as much as we should like. 

When you are a teenager your daily focus with your friends is generally, ‘so what shall we do today’ now it seems to be, ‘so when can we meet up?’ – the answer is usually a good few months from the conversation happening and if, god forbid, all 5 of us want to be in the same room at the same time, it’s a good half a year minimum. So for what is becoming our bi-annual shindig, last weekend I journeyed back to the homeland of Bristol for a surprise party. My bestie had flown home from Bulgaria for her birthday weekend and all 5 of us were planning on being in the same room at the same time. A-MAZ-ING.

bobs bday 2016

The 5 of us re-united

It was pretty special actually, the look on my friends face was priceless when I turned up and we sat in her mum’s back garden with a cold bevy in hand. It was as though the last 5 years had not happened. I have sat in that garden countless times, usually with a drink, always chatting carelessly away – the only thing missing was a crafty siggy on the back wall. One by one the 5 of us arrived and we sat chatting as though no time had passed. For a brief moment I almost forgot that I had two babies who WERE NOT with me. Panic stricken I rang home to check in cursing myself for…for? I don’t know, enjoying the moment.

night out out 09

One of many nights out out in 2009

Part of the celebrations included a night out, ya know a night ‘out out’. I’m not talking a few drinks early evening, home in time to down several pints of water, and an early night after praying babies sleep. I mean the you-don’t-even-get-in-the-taxi-until 9 o’clock type. This sort of night used to be common place, about 10 years ago, now I start to shake when I see 10 o’clock and panic that I am not already asleep. Anywho I was embracing my few hours of freedom.

So I threw on some heels (another bi-annual event these days) and got in the taxi at 9 o’clock (shudders). I then found myself stood in a bar, catching up with old friends with a drink in hand, no snot on my top, not change bag, no stash of wet wipes. It was as though the last 5 years had not happened. We soon migrated from the bar to a club, well I say soon I don’t think we actually got to ‘da club’ until about 1am. Thank god I didn’t look at my watch at this point otherwise I may not have made it. This club however  used to be known as ‘Reflex’ you may have heard of them as they are chain. It was, back in my clubbing days an 80s bar, where the ‘older’ crowd would go to re-live their youth and party to the disco classics and sing at the top of their lungs. We did not frequent this place all to often. Now, now I found myself in the re-named Popworld, singing and dancing (yes dancing) to music of my youth, music from our school days, our early clubbing days,the 90s the 00s. It was as though the last 5 years had not happened. I must say I did feel somewhat horrified at the fact that we now qualify as the ‘older’ crowd and chose a place that plays yesterday’s music and allows for shameless word dancing. Horrified and secretly loved it in equal measure. The picture of myself sat in a sophisticated trendy club come bar with the latest music, that’s so current its not even out yet definitely did not happen.

Shamefully we were kicked out at closing when the lights came on, spent an hour faffing about getting the compulsory end of night chips, pissed about waiting for a taxi and got through the door at 4.30, 4 fucking 30! I could have cried. Going to bed at 5am when you have two babies to tend to the next day is just soul destroying, I am sure you will agree Mummas. Even more horrifying when your body clock wakes you up at 8am, have a 2 hour drive and the usual tantrums, dinner time, bath time and bed time scenario to battle with all on three hours sleep. Now I know I brought it on myself, and no I did not get any sympathy from Mr TM but boy was I glad when 7.30 bed time rolled around.

The night wasn’t without its hiccups, everyone drank too much, (yes I am looking at you Bob), the damned heels took their toll come 3am and it cost a small fortune but it was nonetheless a fantastic 12 hours spent with my amazing friends. Ladies I miss you! I am sure the message has come across loud and clear – it felt as though the last 5 years had not happened. That night from start to finish was so standard in our lives that it felt like I had slipped right back into my old life. In the last 5 years so many key things have changed. Whilst I loved my night of baby freedom to piss about with my mates (and I did) and whilst I miss my friends and family it occurred to me that the feeling of the last 5 years had not happened was fine, for that split second but any longer and a black cloud starts to creep in. I am so far from that lost, unsure and uneasy girl that was. I am different now, I am a mum and I do not want to go back. I am eternally grateful for the last 5 years of my life and the people that have made it, (yes Mr TM I am looking at you). I could not wish for more and could not be without my (not that) new family.

new famil 2

Taken in August 2015, baby 2 about 6 weeks and just out of hospital. Baby 1 clearly not so happy at her brother being home…

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46 Comments

  1. April 11, 2016 / 8:16 am

    It’s amazing when you can get together with old friends and you carry on as if you saw them just yesterday!
    I only see my old school friends a couple times a year, life just gets in the way but we all realise that.
    I couldn’t imagine going to bed at 4.30!!! I can’t even function the next day if I go to bed later than 11! #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 11:52 am

      It was tough to say the least! Yeah we all grow up and move on but it’s always nice to get together. Thank you for your comment x

  2. April 11, 2016 / 8:33 am

    Thanks for sharing. It’s so nice you still have such a strong friendship as it’s so easy to drift apart as your lives all move on. #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 11:53 am

      Yes it is, we do try an make the effort to see each other but it is still very sparse. Thank you for comment xx

  3. rightroyalmother
    April 11, 2016 / 8:47 am

    Ah, I think your two are about the same age as mine. It’s crazy where the time goes but sounds like you have a fab group of friends. We’re so lucky when there are people in our lives that you can pick up with where you left off – even if it is half a decade later! #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:48 pm

      Absolutely, that’d he best part about having such good friends. Mine are 20 months and 9 months – 9 months between them ???? xx

  4. April 11, 2016 / 10:27 am

    Sometimes it is so good to have a leap back in time and blast out those ‘mummy cobwebs’ with a good old dance and some crazy drunken behaviour. Last time I went out out, we ended up in a place that was pretty current, I hated it, I thought I looked good until I realised I was wearing all the wrong clothes, and dancing when you don’t know the tunes sucks! So these places we used to pour scorn on should now be celebrated imo! Thanks for linking up with us! #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:50 pm

      Ha yes your absolutely right there! And I love the ‘mummy cobwebs’ term, that’s definitely what I did. Thank you for your comment xx

  5. April 11, 2016 / 11:08 am

    Love this Sarah, it’s so brilliant having friends like that who you just feel you’ve never been away from. I love pop world/ reflex! Even when I was still at uni it was one of my favourite places to go, love all the novelty stuff (giant cocktails with sweets in etc) and the cheesy music, definitely my bag. It’s great that you are happier now and as a mother. #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:50 pm

      Thank you that’s a lovely comment. Haha yes I did love it, and by the end fully embraced the cheese! Xx

  6. April 11, 2016 / 11:10 am

    So glad you had such a fabulous time with your friends! They sound like a special bunch :) I don’t know how you managed to survive the next day though!! #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:51 pm

      Thank you, they are a good non blogging tribe lol. Hmm the net day was tough. Really tough. Thank you for your comment xx

  7. April 11, 2016 / 11:20 am

    It is amazing when you have friendships like that. I really miss my friends too and was lucky to have my best friend visit 2 weeks ago. There’s nothing like the familiarity and easiness that comes from being with people you have a shared history with. Glad you had fun! xx

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:52 pm

      Yep your spot on there. Good friends definitely bring familiarity and ease that is invaluable xx

  8. April 11, 2016 / 6:04 pm

    nothing beats a night out like a girly night with real friends – even if you do have to pay for it the next day (or two!) – friends really are the best therapy. Great post and makes me want to go out out with my friends now so thank you! #bigpinklink

    • tammymum
      April 11, 2016 / 6:53 pm

      Yes they absolutely are. You totally should, a good night out does everyone the world of good, although just not the next day….

  9. April 11, 2016 / 8:55 pm

    I love this, I have a best friend who I met in Uni and there is nothing better than when we get together for a catch up or a night out – it is like we are 21 again (until I wake up the next morning and there is nobody there to make you tea and toast just a couple of crying kids!)xxxx

  10. April 13, 2016 / 9:30 am

    As a fellow Bristolian, a smile broke across my face when I saw you’d mentioned Reflex. Many hazy memories from nights out in there. Namely cheap tasting wine, feet that stick to the floor and having to swerve some crazy bird who tried to take a punch once. Classy eh??!!! Loved reading this. Huge respect to you for not getting in until 4:30am – I’ve only done that once since I became a Mum 2.5 years ago and it ranks as one of my worst hangover days to date. By far. #bloggerclubuk

    • tammymum
      April 13, 2016 / 2:29 pm

      Haha thank you for your lovely comment!! What an accurate description of reflex, I love it. Yep many a hazy night there but I’m with you – the next day is just horrible since becoming mum. Thank again :) xx

  11. April 13, 2016 / 2:18 pm

    Ah I love this…and now have a desire to eat chips..I know what you mean about enjoying the time with friends, got it is nice to feel like a seperate entity, lbut once you are a mummy you are always one so do not want to rewind time. Two of my uni friends came to visit me latley and we went to the pub at 11…for the day…by 6 I was wimpering to go home and knew the next day I would be up at silly am and having to play transformers! lovely post honey #bloggerclubuk

    • tammymum
      April 13, 2016 / 2:30 pm

      Nights (or days lol) are just not the same post baby are they! And no whilst we wouldn’t change motherdom for all the tea in China, a guilt free night out with no consequences wouldn’t go a miss ey. Thanks lovey xx

  12. April 13, 2016 / 4:17 pm

    It is always so special having that group of friends that are always by your side! Time sure does fly! Thinking of organizing my own night out now šŸ˜‰ #bloggerclubuk

    • tammymum
      April 14, 2016 / 7:39 am

      Haha you should totally do it! Enjoy xx

  13. twotinyhands
    April 13, 2016 / 6:22 pm

    Aww that’s amazing to have these friends. I have 2 from years ago that are separate friends. It’s lovely to meet up with them. I wouldn’t change my life now though to go back to the drunk years. I love being a mum! Clearly you do too! X

  14. April 14, 2016 / 8:10 pm

    I loved reading this! It’s fab to have friends like that, where it feels like you saw them yesterday when actually it’s been months and months. But I agree though, I don’t think I would want to go back to the life I had before, I mean it was great fun at the time but life is pretty good now with my children! x #coolmumclub

    • tammymum
      April 15, 2016 / 5:32 pm

      Yes the two lives are very different, both great in their own right but oh so different. As fun as the old one was I would go back, well not for more than a night lol xx

  15. April 14, 2016 / 8:44 pm

    I want to come out on a night out with you girls! Having just recovered from a WHOLE weekend of drunken crazy in Barcalona, a month ago (yes it’s taken that long), I can concur that feeling like the old you is just what the doctor ordered. But ‘never again’ until next time šŸ˜‰
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

    • tammymum
      April 15, 2016 / 6:25 pm

      A weekend, I’m not surprised it took a month to recover lol. It is definitely what the doctor ordered. Until the recovery period kicks in xx

  16. April 15, 2016 / 8:41 am

    sometimes its good to have a look back at the good times and if you can carry them into your new present even better. your bubbas are adorable. Hugs and love honey pie
    #coolmumclub

    • tammymum
      April 15, 2016 / 6:26 pm

      Aww thank you. Yes it nice to look back and even revisit but on,y temporarily. Thanks for your comment xx

  17. Morgan Prince
    April 15, 2016 / 4:50 pm

    Ah it sounds like you had a really fab time. It’s always lovely to catch up with friends.
    #marvellousmondays

    • tammymum
      April 15, 2016 / 6:29 pm

      Thank you, it was lovely xx

  18. April 17, 2016 / 12:02 am

    Sounds like you had a lovely night out with your besties and a well deserved one too im sure šŸ˜‰ Nights and events like these are a dime a douzen once you have a family so its definitely worth making the most out of them (and it sounds like you did šŸ˜‰ but no matter how good a time I have out with the girls, at work or elsewhere, the best thing is always coming back to my little family :-) Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

  19. Becky, Cuddle Fairy
    April 19, 2016 / 12:33 pm

    It is so nice to reunite with friends! Dealing with the fun from the reunion the next day is not fun times – oh it’s an awful feeling! You have two beautiful babies there! Thanks so much for linking up with us at #bloggerclubuk x

    • tammymum
      April 19, 2016 / 2:56 pm

      Aw thank you! Yep it’s all fun and games…until the morning! Xx

  20. May 1, 2016 / 7:17 am

    This is lovely. It’s so great when you can catch up with your friends after a big gap and it feels like nothing happened. That’s always been a sign of true friendship for me. Sometimes I think about my life before marriage and kids, and although I know it was easier than the life I have now, I – like you – would not want to go back. #KCACOLS

  21. serenityyou
    May 1, 2016 / 8:05 am

    I went away for a weekend with a group of my friends a few years ago. I had such a good time and I really want to do it again #KCACOLS.

    • tammymum
      May 2, 2016 / 1:31 pm

      It can certainly be just what the doctor ordered xx

  22. May 1, 2016 / 9:25 am

    Oh my goodness I don’t know how you did it!! The pain you must have gone through the next day! But well worth it as it sounds like you had a fab time :-) #KCACOLS

    • tammymum
      May 2, 2016 / 1:32 pm

      Yes it was quite horrendous. Worth it yes, but not too often lol xx

  23. May 1, 2016 / 1:30 pm

    I love this. I have stayed very close to my group of school friends, we have over twenty children between us and yet we still find the time to get together and when we do, even though months may have passed, it’s as though the last few years have never happened. We still refer to eachother by our maiden names, still talk about other peoples ages by school year, and still reminisce about all of our school days and remind eachother of the crazy things that we did back when we were young, free and single. Friends like this are priceless aren’t they? #KCACOLS

    • tammymum
      May 2, 2016 / 1:33 pm

      Wow 20 kids between you and you still meet up that really is good going. But you’re right friends like that are priceless and revisiting yester year can be just the medicine sometimes. Thanks for your comment xx

  24. May 1, 2016 / 10:24 pm

    It sounds like it was a great night! It’s so hard to get everyone together these days, but I love it when we do get chance to catch up – it’s always like no time has passed at all. :) #KCACOLS

    • tammymum
      May 2, 2016 / 6:34 pm

      That’s the sign of good friends isn’t it, when you can sit and chat like nothing has changed even though it’s been months since you last saw each other xx

  25. May 2, 2016 / 10:58 am

    I have these, we never go out out anymore, but we still meet up and it’s like we saw each other yesterday :) #KCACOLS

  26. May 2, 2016 / 8:29 pm

    Wow it sound slike you made up for lost time and had an absolutely amazing night out! I don’t envy coping with two the next day though. It’s lovely to have such strong freindships that you know you can count on, even after quite a bit of time has passed. Thanks so much for linking with #KCACOLS. I hope you come back again next Sunday.