Ah that magic T word. Some swear to live by it, some run for the hills at the very thought of it. It is a fully loaded word that can reep havoc, shatter lives or bring the most innocent joy. At some point we are probably all guilty of shying away from the truth, I know I certainly am:
The OH: how much was the shop Bab?
Me: oh about £100 (ahem..and £50…ahem cough cough)
See sometimes the world looks better slightly rose tinted. But it did get me thinking about the truth. I took a vow of honesty, fairly early on in my blogging day to be as true to myself as possible. I must admit it took me little while to get there but I am finding my truth, so to speak. That’s not to say that I think people should only speak the truth blah blah blah. In fact that is a mantra that can be quite damaging at times. People don’t, and to my mind, shouldn’t always say what they are thinking because simply put, it can be cruel. Justifying hurtful comments by saying ‘well I always say what I think’ is not justification. As with all things, there is a grey area in being honest and despite my ‘vow of honestly’ I am the first person to admit that.
With that in mind, I have been reading through a plethora of blogs lately and have been struck by the large number of ‘picture perfect’ blogs, that are packed with pictures of adorable children followed by the mouth watering baked goods that have just been rustled up whilst looking utterly gorgeous – not a gripe, snotty child or ending tether in sight. Now please do not get me wrong this is not a critisism (how could it be?) more an observation. The same can be said for fellow mummys we see out and about, at the soft play, the park, wherever, they are the the ones looking fabulous and who always seem to have their shit together.
Pre kids I enjoyed baking the odd cake, spending hours doing my hair and make up and cooking a freshly prepared evening meal. Post kids, doing my hair means washing it, putting make up on is mascara usually done whilst fighting a toddler for the content of my make up bag, cake will be shop bought and dinner will often be burnt. So I wonder do these fabulous mummas not have shit days? Do they ever burn the dinner? Do the kids ever push their buttons so much they want to sit in a dark room , quietly, alone? And it’s not just applicable to mammys but all of us. Do we just not discuss it? And if so why?
Perhaps it’s because we only want to focus on positivity. That’s cool, part of me is in admiration. Perhaps it’s because we prefer the rose tinted version of life, I get that, the world is a better place when we are all smiling after all. Or just maybe the truth is just too much to handle, a bridge too far? A reminder of the fact the hard times are just that. But to those of you who don’t feel able to put that smile on today or can’t help but allow the negativity to creep in…HI!!! Come join me, I find sarcasm funny, enjoy a good moan and happen to find the shit hitting the fan stories some of the best…perhaps that says more about me but I’m ok with it. I take solice in reading from and talking to others who have had a shit day and who have been up all night with the babies for reasons unknown. Finding the funny side in the trying moments gets me through the day as does seeking solidity in others, it makes me feel less alone, less like I’m doing something wrong and gives a sense of ‘we’re all in it together’. Yes the world can look better rose tinted but for me the world needs the bare all approach just as much. So don’t be afraid to have moan or share the truth about the hard times, chances are it’s doing someone somewhere a little bit of good and I for one will always listen.